Devin Booker, Want to Be Neighbors???
The Phoenix Suns are weathering their latest playoff humiliation and their franchise star is reportedly mulling a move to the New York Knicks. A move I fully support and encourage.
Photo: Screenshot Entertainment
On Sunday night, the Phoenix Suns weathered their latest, greatest playoff humiliation. Not only were they eliminated but they were swept from the first round perhaps because the organization invested every resource it had toward building a “super-team” around their franchise players Devin Booker, Kevin Durant, and the consistently injury-addled Bradley Beal. It’s not like the team is a stranger to uniquely degrading playoff exits—in 2022 they were blown out on their home court in a Game 7 that saw the creation of the iconic 12-second YouTube video titled, “Chris Paul hits a huge three to cut the lead down to 42.” At least this time Booker, my parasocial boyfriend, didn’t go out sad, dropping 49 points instead of just 11 in 2022’s disaster class. But being crushed as a championship-or-bust super-team that cost nearly a billion dollars and literally all the draft picks to assemble, is somehow infinitely more embarrassing.
Within minutes of the team’s defeat at around 12:30 a.m. ET, a barrage of predictable and delightfully petty media narratives were already taking hold. Many blamed the Suns’ head coach Frank Vogel and the team’s complete disregard for his authority while some divulged that Durant has been unhappy with his assigned role on the team for some time. But the one I am personally most invested in as a New York City resident is that Booker wants out and specifically wants to join the New York Knicks.
Unfortunately, since that last one comes from television personality Stephen A. Smith, whose source is often just, “Trust me, bro,” I’m forced to take the prospect of Booker coming to New York with a grain of salt. Still, I’ll say it: Devin Booker, want to be neighbors???