Does This Town Look Like a Dick or What?

By Night Editor | August 15, 2014 | 2:48am

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This English town looks like a dick.

Berkhamsted sits on the banks of the Grand Union Canal. It’s a town with a rich and interesting history, according to the town council’s website. On Mondays and Tuesdays, they do “Photos in the Foyer,” at the Civic Centre which is something I kind of want to start doing, too. “Hello, welcome to Rebecca’s foyer. These are some photos. I think they are nice. I hope you do as well.” I don’t think I have a foyer, though. I have a pile of shoes in front of my door that we’re always tripping on. I don’t think that would go over well with company. Hey, and they have a castle! Shit, FANCY!

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Berkhamsted is a lively town set in a valley of the Chiltern Hills with a history going back beyond Saxon times. Its claim to fame includes strong royal, literary and teaching connections. It was in Berkhamsted, where earlier there was a Saxon fort, that William was handed the crown in 1066. Here, his half-brother, Count Robert of Mortain, built a ‘motte and bailey’ castle with two moats. Substantial ruins of the Castle still remain. This was the favourite home of the Black Prince, who honeymooned here with the Fair Maid of Kent. Geoffrey Chaucer was Clerk of the Works. Berkhamsted School was founded in 1541 by Dean Incent, whose father was Secretary to Cicely, Duchess of York.

Nice! Oh and also, their town pretty much looks like a dick.

A map commissioned by the town to show off the landmarks and pubs (most important thing in ANY town) was supposed to help them attract tourism. That is until people realized something about the map after it was published, according to the Express:

As soon as it was published, dirty-minded locals noticed its striking resemblance to male genitalia. The image was then re-posted on a popular facebook page where one resident observed: “It looks like a willy. Tee hee.”

Another added: “Come to Berkhamsted. You can visit our knob-shaped canal, or take a day trip to Cock Grove”, a reference to a small forest on the outskirts of the town.

The best part of the map has to be the overly excited cartoon warning “STAY SAFE! Stay away from the edge!” Good advice for towns and for dicks.

I can see where this is going. You know how people from Michigan explain what part of the state they’re from by using the hand? (Michiganders, you know what I mean.) That’s exactly what’s going to happen here.

“Meet me right around the left ball.”

“Let’s have lunch; how about that nice spot at the base of the shaft?”

“Yay! I’m moving! Leaving the tiny cramped studio apartment in the ballsack.”

For their part, the town seems to be pretty cool with looking like a dick.

“Do we mind if people come to the conclusion that the map looks like a penis?” said Jonathan Ludford, spokesperson for the Canal and River Trust, which comissioned the map. “Not at all. It was produced in good faith, and is meant to increase interest in the area.”

Increase interest in the area. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.

Image via Canal and River