Dolly Parton Was in a Car Accident, But Calm Down, SHE'S OKAY

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Dolly Parton crashed her car a little bit, but Dolly Parton is okay. I repeat. DOLLY PARTON IS NOT IN DANGER. Ladies and gentlemen, as living, breathing, flesh-and-blooded animals, I realize that you get very upset when Dolly Parton faces any sort of peril—or even mild inconvenience—so I am deeply relieved to tell let you know that Dolly Parton is okay.

Dolly Parton is home resting after being treated and released for minor injuries she suffered in a car crash she described as “a fender bender.”
Kirt Webster says Parton was already home Monday afternoon following the accident that happened shortly before noon CDT in Nashville, Tenn. Parton says in a statement that she’s “all good. Just a little tired and sore.”
Police say the 67-year-old Country Music Hall of Fame member was riding in an SUV that was hit by another vehicle. Parton and the two others were taken to local hospitals for treatment. A news release says none of the injuries appeared serious.

STOP CRYING. DOLLY PARTON’S OKAY. Breathe. Breeeeeeeathe. [AP]

Man, Shia LaBeouf wants y’all to behold his dong SO BAD. He is always delivering x-tra dong!

Perhaps you will find solace in the fact that Shia tweeted this photo for an upcoming film, “Charlie Countryman,” and not solely to hurt you. But the film does come out next month, and he is obviously going nude, so the hurt is there regardless. Just give yourself time to heal, all right? It’ll all be OK. Probably.

Whatever, man. No shame there. If you’ve got it, let it out. Dude is literally named THE BEEF. [Fishwrapper] [Twitter]

Health groups want Katy Perry to stop making Pepsi commercials.

“Today soda companies are using you and other celebrities to convince young people that drinking soda is hip, sexy and rebellious,” the letter says.
…The letter tells Katy Perry that she is teaching kids that if they drink Pepsi they can “be cool like Katy Perry” and they should “‘Live for now’ — and worry about the health consequences later.”
It goes on to remind her of her popularity with “teens and tweens” and urges her not to corrupt them by selling them soda.

Follow-up idea: Petition soda companies to make their products less delicious. [BuzzFeed]

  • Oh, also Katy Perry‘s W cover leaked. [LifeFiles]
  • This guy paid $100k for a Bieberoplasty. [ABC]
  • Here’s Taylor Swift‘s new song, which she wrote with Jack Antonoff. [JustJared]
  • OMGZGZZ, Charlie Hunnam has BROKEN HIS SILENCE about 50 Shades!!! Basically he’s like, “Yeah, I just wanted to not do that.” [E!]
  • Chloe Grace Moretz looks amazing but of course she also looks fat and stupid, I guess, because #fashion. [E!]
  • Cee-Lo says he is “not guilty” of Ecstasy. He is, like, complacent at most. [TMZ]
  • Here is Vin Diesel with no shirt. [People]
  • Here are some “hunks” with “wacky haircuts.” [E!]
  • Ivanka Trump wants you to look at this baby. [E!]
  • People complained about no “Cracklin’ Rosie” during Neil Diamond Week (there are only SO MANY DAYS IN A WEEK, YOU KNOW?), so here you go. Don’t say I never listen to you.

Images via Getty.

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