Drunk Half-Naked Paris Hilton Unleashes Hellish Collab With Lil Wayne

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Paris Hilton has released a sample of her song with Lil Wayne plus accompanying music video, and oh my god it is a musical experience unlike any other. It’s mostly the young heiress slithering around in a shallow pool while croaking about how she feels tipsy, like the most fun and drunkest and richest adolescent frog in the entire swamp.

However, this song will likely be remembered by future generations for Lil Wayne‘s groundbreaking Butt Rap Interlude. Here are the lyrics:

“I’m fucked up … I can’t tell you what’s what.
All she know is suck, fuck.
I walked up to a big butt, and asked her ass, “Butt, what?” …

(TMZ says it’s “and asked her ass but what,” but I like to think that the rapper is addressing Paris Hilton’s bottom with curiosity. Maybe he is wondering, “Butt, what is this song?” or “Butt, what is wrong with Paris Hilton?” or “Butt, what happened in my life to lead me to this situation?”). [TMZ]

Surprisingly hairy eternal children The Jonas Brothers are on the cover of OUT magazine, a truly perfect moment in boy band history. Says Joe Jonas (the one with the eyebrows), “[Being in ‘Out’] is a moment for us for sure. We keep saying, ‘Well, it’s about time.'”

In the interview, the Brothers Jonas are like, “We have a lot of gay friends and gay fans, but we are not gay.” Those lusciously-coiffed nesting dolls are really accepting of all lifestyles. And so the circle of life continues. [Popcrush, OUT]

*NSYNC tweeted some Obamacare advice earlier this week and some for their (FORMER) fans are livid about it. Something we can all learn from this: it’s very easy to turn *NSYNC references into bitter tweets about unfollowing someone for having a Liberal Agenda. E.g.: “LIBERAL SCUM #byebyebye”; “I used to like you — how sad that you’re now liberal #puppets”; “It’s tearing up my heart that everyone should have access to affordable care”; etc.

Who do you think wrote the tweet? My money is on Fatone. [Cosmo]

  • Let’s add to the noble and illustrious list of those who are considered Miley Cyrus‘ homies: Kanye West, her backup dancers, and also her mom. [E!]
  • Prince Harry and girlfriend Cressida Bonas went on a date and didn’t even make out once! (Probably because he took her to a James Blunt concert, but also maybe because a hoard of people with cameras were following them around? Idk, I blame the Blunt.) [Perez Hilton]
  • Kim Kardashian Instagrammed a photograph of herself wearing a low-cut dress. Here are two articles about the dress. The dress is more famous than you’ll ever be. [The Hollywood Gossip, Hello Magazine]
  • Channing Tatum is so amazing at changing diapers; you seriously would not believe how good he is at it. “He’s like, ‘Let me get in there. Let me change those diapers,'” according to wife Jenna Dewan-Tatum. Also he beat-boxes to the baby. (“Let me get in there. Let me beat box to the baby.”) [E!]
  • Katy Perry mentioned in her Billboard interview that she was late to her interview with Barbara Walters and, in response, Barbara Walters implied that the singer would die of a drug overdose. You know, just normal etiquette stuff! Walters has now apologized. [Newser]
  • Ashley Greene went out in public without her boyfriend. ASHLEY R U OK??? WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS YOUR BOYFRIEND? [Perez Hilton]
  • I don’t know anything about that football sport the kids are so crazy for, but Torrey Smith, the wide receiver (???) for the Baltimore Ravens (????), and his wife announced their pregnancy in a very adorable way. [People]
  • Jennifer Lawrence and Liam Hemsworth snugged on the set of Mockingjay and the pictures are so very sweet. [ONTD]
  • Also Liam Hemsworth spent $3,800 at a sports bar. The sum was spent on mini burgers and tequila. That’s a lot of sliders, Gale. [ONTD]
  • Mia Farrow admitted that Frank Sinatra is “possibly” the father of her son Ronan, which makes sense because just look at the boy. [Hello Magazine]
  • Rosario Dawson didn’t have sex until she was 20. You learn something every day. [ONTD]
  • Usher danced about the alphabet on Sesame Street. [E!]
  • Tyra Banks is suing wig companies for using her name without permission. I guess that’s what you have to worry about when you get famous. [Bossip]
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