Even Trump Probably Didn't Know What the Hell He Was Saying Today


President Trump didn’t make huge news during Friday afternoon’s two-hour-long press briefing, but there were certainly a few absurd moments that would lead any reasonable person to ask themselves, “How the fuck did we get here?”

Sometime before insisting that hospitals have all the masks, covid-19 tests, and ventilators they need—a lie—and sometime after suggesting that Dr. Fauci, one of the few competent people on Trump’s Coronavirus Task Force, run against Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the president was asked to speak to concerns from Latin American and Caribbean countries who claim the United States is blocking shipments of personal protective equipment. Trump had an easy answer for why this is happening: Drugs, human trafficking, and the internet.

“We have a tremendous force out there, a naval force, and we’re blocking the shipment of drugs,” Trump said. “So maybe what they’re doing is stopping ships that they want to look [at]… we don’t want drugs in our country.”

So this is why countries aren’t receiving lifesaving masks, goggles, etc: Drugs! With a dash of human trafficking.

Here’s just a sliver of more of Trump’s incoherent ramble:

“And remember, the human trafficking is mostly females! It’s mostly females. It’s horrible, and what we’ve seen is horrible. We have a human trafficking problem worldwise, the likes of which—you think of it as an ancient thing. It’s not ancient! It’s a bigger now than it’s ever been before over the last 10 years because of the internet. The internet made human trafficking, to the extent that it is now, which is massive… the internet made it so big. So we have a big naval force that’s stopping, so maybe when you mention that… maybe the ships are getting caught. But we are stopping a lot of ships and we are finding a lot of drugs.”


Surgeon General Jerome Adams relayed a simple message for black and Latinos across America during Friday’s presser: Keep your “abuela” and “big momma” inside the house and away from alcohol, tobacco, and drugs.

Adams said that communities of color have been disproportionately impacted by covid-19, not because they’re biologically or genetically predisposed, but rather socially predisposed. They are more likely to be essential workers and less likely to have the luxury of working from home through this crisis. Additionally, they are more likely to have diseases like high blood pressure, diabetes, and asthma, co-morbidities that puts them at risk for complications if they contract covid-19.

Still, Adams stressed that blacks and Latinos should follow the guidelines pushed by health officials as closely as possible: Maintain social distancing, keep six feet of space between themselves and others, wear masks when out in public, wash hands frequently, and—er—“avoid alcohol, tobacco, and drugs.”

“We need you to do this,” Adams said. “If not for yourself, then for your abuela, do it for your granddaddy, do it for your big mama, do it for your pop pop.”

Look, yes, people of color are disproportionately getting fucked by covid-19, but why is the avoiding alcohol, tobacco, and drugs suggestion being pushed onto the black and brown people specifically? LOL, yikes, bro.

When reporter Yamiche Alcindor told Adams that people on social media were calling his message to people of color offensive, Adams didn’t really see what the big deal was.

It’s clear that Adams was simply trying to press the importance of people of color staying safe, but the approach was… goofy. It was goofy, bro! But I’m sure Fox News is loving that paternalistic message to those dope-smoking, liquor drinking blacks and browns.

  • Trump is thirsty to “re-open” the United States and is considering doing just that before the end of the month. Despite the fact that ending social distance recommendations could exacerbate the covid-19 pandemic in the country, Trump is more concerned about the shitty stock market and high unemployment numbers reflecting negatively on him. Sad! [Washington Post]
  • Trump released an attack ad Thursday that attacks Joe Biden’s “soft” stance on China and threw in a clip of Biden meeting with Gary Locke, the former governor of Washington for good measure. Locke is Chinese-American, but he’s not from China. But I guess every Asian-American person is from China now so!!! [New York Times]
  • The Trump administration wanted to monitor Canadians in some goofy border control plot that never came to fruition. [The Nation]
  • Please enjoy this insane deep dive into Chanel Rion, an OAN reporter and Trump stan who is a fucking scammer and grifter. Say hello to your new covid-19 era villain, y’all. [Daily Mail]
  • The Food and Drug Administration is warning professional troll Alex Jones to quit shilling products on Info Wars that he claims treat covid-19. [Politico]
  • Congresswoman Pramila Jayapal is proposing a “Payback Guarantee Act” which would provide grants to employers so they can keep employees on the payroll and maintain employer-provided health coverage for workers making up to $100,000. It would also cover business expenses like rent. [Seattle Times]
  • And speaking of congresswomen… SQUAD REUNION!

The Squad and… uh, Sarah?

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