Everything Patrick Did Wrong on This Week's Episode of Looking

By Mark Shrayber | February 24, 2015 | 2:50pm

Entertainment

There’s something I’ve got to get off my chest: This season of Looking is pretty damn good. And even though there isn’t enough Eddie and nearly ZERO CECI WHICH IS UNFORGIVABLE, there’s still enough redeeming material to make up for at least some of the fucking up Patrick did.

Yes, that’s right. I am only focusing on Patrick because I watched this episode and cringed at how awful he was. It’s like the writers all got together and decided they needed a new villain and that Patrick was it. He wasn’t that likable in the first season and now? HE IS STRAIGHT UP HELLBENT ON MAKING ME TURN OFF THE TELEVISION.

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Here is exactly how he ruined everything for everyone.

Patrick being angry at Agustin for not getting the fucking cups for his fucking awful Halloween party. It’s no secret that Agustin was awful for the entire first season and about half of this one. But now he’s gotten his shit together (somewhat) and while I don’t believe he wouldn’t benefit from some therapy and perhaps a couple of meetings, I am delighted by the fact that he’s found someone outside of his own awfulness to focus on. So considering that Patrick is Agustin’s best friend, he should understand that, hey, if Agustin can’t pick up the cups for the party because he’s working a shift at the LGBT+ center that that’s not him being a flake, that’s him trying to make a change and help others.

Was anyone else really annoyed when Patrick equated “new Agustin” to “old Agustin” because he wasn’t going to pick up cups? Come on, dude! Old Agustin passed out on the street and hired sex workers for mediocre art projects. New Agustin is carving pumpkins with homeless kids. That’s a little different, no?

Patrick trying to convince the guy he was cheating with not to leave town and also to come to his party. Patrick just can’t give up on this Kevin thing, huh? Trust me, you don’t want the guy who’s got a boyfriend at your party. You want him to move to another town. You want him to be one of the Mars 100. And you want him to never, ever come back.

You will always be the side piece, Patrick. That will never change. Literally the best thing that could happen is for Kevin to move away forever. Also, just in case anyone didn’t know this: If you tell the boyfriend of the guy you’re fooling around with that there’s cheating going on, the guy you’re fooling around with isn’t going to become your boyfriend…he’ll just hate you forever and find someone else. #experienceissomeshit.

#Instagay. NO. STOP. EMBARRASSING.

Patrick not trying to move on from Richie and Kevin and being a complete ass to the dude Eddie introduces him to and also being petty to Richie’s boyfriend. Right? I get that Patrick is all hurt by the horrible things that he’s brought onto himself, but that’s no reason for being a horrible host. Even if you’re not into the guy (who was hella cute, BTW), you can’t just wander off on him and then come back and try to make out with him. Of course he’s going to be offended.

I’m also going to point out that inviting your ex and his boyfriend is a bad idea. If there’s going to be alcohol, there are going to be feelings and Patrick ended up looking like the pettiest bitch in Petticoat Junction when he tried to throw down on Richie’s new boyfriend’s important article for SF Weekly. But, you know that was not enough, so let’s just talk about the grand finale of the entire thing.

Patrick melting down in the middle of his party. People had told me that I would cringe watching this episode and I expected it to be a little bad, but I certainly didn’t think I’d be wandering out of the room flapping my hands and saying “NO NO NO” as Patrick roasted every one of his friends and former partners in the middle of a party.

Question 1: Why did no one stop him after he said Happy Halloween?

Question 2: Why did no one stop him at any point after that?

Question 3: Why wasn’t he just stopped right when he was going to speak?

The breakdown really showcased how self-absorbed and self-serving Patrick is. For a long time I’ve been complaining about the fact that I don’t buy his “saint” persona and he really showed off that he wasn’t one. Unfortunately, Patrick is the epitome of “the nice guy,” the type of dude who’ll do things for you but only because he expects something in return or because helping you out makes him feel better about himself. That’s why Patrick passed the hat around for Dom’s “chicken window” and why he commended Agustin on “turning his life around.”

What seems clear to me (but this is only my interpretation) is that Patrick is used to being the normal and successful one of his group of friends and now that the 40-year-old fuck up and the perpetually sulky hipster are growing up and leaving him behind, he’s got nothing to hold onto. He’s making the bad decisions he’s judging others for and he doesn’t know how to handle it, so he feels like dragging everyone back down with him.

It’s at this point during the last season that I wondered why anyone on the show remained friends with Agustin. This time, I’m wondering whether Patrick is the toxic one holding everyone back. I hate it when TV shows make me think.

Image via HBO