Finally, A Bank Dress Code That's Terrible For Ladies And Dudes


Today in pyrrhic victories: a Swiss bank has rolled out a dress code that’s equally obnoxious to women and men. It even warns dudes against panty lines!

According to the Wall Street Journal, the UBS AG dress code is 43 pages long. Here are a few of its tips for lady-employees:

— Button your jacket at all times — except when you’re sitting down, when you should unbutton it.
— No “trendy spectacles” (this is the Journal‘s phrase, but I sure hope it’s a direct translation).
— “Light makeup consisting of foundation, mascara and discreet lipstick … will enhance your personality.”
— Dye your hair regularly; no visible roots.
— Wear “skin-colored” underwear.

Kind of silly, but nothing we haven’t heard before — the sometimes ridiculous stringency (and misuse) of dress codes for female employees has been well-documented. What’s new about the UBS code is its equally ludicrous recommendations for men. They include:

— Don’t use too much hair dye because “artificial color contrasts excessively with the actual age of your skin.”
Avoid ties that clash with the “morphology of the face.”
— Wear a watch because it implies “reliability and great care for punctuality.”
— Underwear “should be of good quality and easily washable, but still remain undetectable.”

The code also has some recommendations for everyone, including avoiding garlic and onions because they give you bad breath. And while there do seem to be some inequalities inherent in the tips (ladies have to dye their more, men less), it’s interesting to see a dress code that subjects dudes to nearly the same level of bullshit as women. Some people have pointed out that professional men deal with wardrobe restrictions too, but let’s face it — at most workplaces, they don’t compare to what women have to deal with. When crazy clothing restrictions expand to affect men, will there be large-scale rebellion? We’ll have to watch UBS to see, but one thing’s already clear: telling guys to wash their underwear will get you written up in the Journal.

Dress To Impress, UBS Tells Staff [WSJ]
UBS Tells Employees To Stick To ‘Skin-Coloured’ Lingerie [Times Of India]

Image via Patrick Breig/

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