Fuck You if You Don't Tip Your Server
Latest

I spent most of my college life waiting tables. The heftiest chunk of that time was at the Chevy’s in Times Square, where I spent weekends and evenings singing their bastardized version of “Happy Birthday” to the legions of yahoos who lied about it being their birthdays so they could get a free cartoon sombrero. I worked double shifts for measly ducats and endured name-calling, inappropriate touching, and serving entire off-off-Broadway casts who enjoyed dining on only free chips and salsa and paying in terrible renditions of Les Mis songs. I Dreamed a Dream, and that shit did not involve bringing you 50 baskets of chips in return for $5.
Honestly, waitressing wasn’t all bad. I’m outgoing, enjoy making new friends, and love stealing fresh tortillas from el machino. In general, pouring giant pitchers of muy autentico bright orange mango margaritas to wannabe boy bands and tourists could be a good time. Sure, I suffered physically; if you’re running around for twelve hours straight, your back and legs will pay the price. I could easily laugh off the losers who beckoned me to their table with, “Hey, red!” — they were the sad idiots eating at the Chevy’s in Times Square, and I was laughing all the way to the bank.
However, let me be clear: the laughing to the bank part is key.
As Chelsea Welch, the waitress who was fired from Applebee’s last week after posting a picture of a receipt, on which an idiot customer wrote “I give God 10%. Why do you get 18?” as her “tip,” has spoken out in a new post for the Guardian:
I’ve been waiting tables to save up some money so I could finally go to college, so I could get an education that would qualify me for a job that doesn’t force me to sell my personality for pocket change.
When a customer withholds a tip for whatever reason — be it because they didn’t like the service, they’re strapped for cash, they’re cheap, they’re disrespectful, or they’re religious (??) — they are withholding livelihood for another human being. Nobody is waitressing for their love of the game; everyone’s just trying to earn a living. Unfortunately, waitressing is a profession where your ability to live is dependent on the whims of an entirely unpredictable party. Or parties. Of 18. Who don’t tip.
Welch explains how important tips are:
In this economy, $3.50 an hour doesn’t cut it. I can’t pay half my bills. Like many, I would love to see a reasonable, non-tip-dependent wage system for service workers like they have in other countries. But the system being flawed is not an excuse for not paying for services rendered.
I need tips to pay my bills. All waiters do. We spend an hour or more of our time befriending you, making you laugh, getting to know you, and making your dining experience the best it can be. We work hard. We care. We deserve to be paid for that.
There are 10,000,000 restaurant workers in America, and 2/3 of those earning sub-minimum wage are women. Even with tips, the average amount a restaurant worker brings home is $9/hour. If you’re withholding those tips, how much do you think they’re actually earning? The $2.13 minimum wage for servers hasn’t changed since 1991.
So, no, there’s absolutely no excuse for not tipping. If you think you have one, let’s try to address the most common “reasons.”
If you can’t afford to tip at least 18 percent, then you cannot afford to eat out, period. No questions, no free “birthday” flan. Before going to a restaurant, look at the menu and do the calculations. If it’s not in your budget, stay home and cook or choose a different restaurant. I’m not trying to beat you up for being poor, but servers are often living hand-to-mouth, too. If you clog up one of their tables and then don’t tip, you have impeded their ability to make rent, buy groceries, and are potentially endangering them. It’s not right.