Gifts For Your Friend Who Has Way Too Many Goddamn Plants

And if you're using this gift guide to shop for yourself, here's an excuse to buy a new planter.

Gift Guide
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RHS Wisley Giant Houseplant Takeover exhibition Image: Steve Parsons/PA Wire (AP)

My New York City apartment is currently home to approximately 50 plants, a prospect I couldn’t have fathomed when a friend of mine took me to my first plant store back in 2016. It was a slow start, resulting in far more dead plants than living thanks to a complete misunderstanding of how to take care of them beyond “water” and “sun.” After all, it takes time to learn how much water an Alocasia needs, how much sun a Jade Plant needs, and that you can’t just put a plant where you think it looks good in your home.

This isn’t to say that plant obsessives gradually become infallible plant experts. Sure, you get better at it: you learn that some succulents get scorched in your sunny south-facing window, you learn that watering on a schedule can do more harm for your plants than good, you eventually learn that mosquito bits get rid of a fungus gnat infestation better than neem oil ever could (and if you didn’t know that already, you’re welcome). You buy some plant clippers (I like these), a trusty watering can, and those little velcro plant ties to help stop your monstera from flopping under its own weight. But the passage of time doesn’t guarantee zero fuck-ups. Just last week, I flubbed my weeks-long progress on propagating a spider plant, and daily I’m dolefully eyeing a rhaphidophora tetrasperma (a mini monstera) that just doesn’t seem interested in growing. But the struggles are part of the adventure and the fun of plants; every day brings a new discovery that teaches you how to fuck up a little bit less in the future.

So whether you or someone in your life is a bit too emotionally invested in their plant collection, what better time to satisfy that obsession than when plants need more TLC than ever: wintertime. From humidifiers to planters that just look really damn good, here are some gifts that every plant parent would love to receive for the holidays.

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