Glamour Pees On Motorcycle, Tells You It's Raining


Glamour editors must think their readers are pretty dumb. From how to wash your face to what men are thinking, we didn’t learn anything new this month. Well, except when it’s appropriate to pee on your man’s motorcycle.

For Glamour readers literally raised by a pack of wolves, the mag offers an important lesson on Soap 101 in “Exactly How to Wash Your Face Right.” Apparently you should “use warm water,” pick cleanser with a moisturizing ingredient if your skin is dry, and “rub it on, rinse it off.”

While it’s good that Glamour is repeating the message that tanning causes skin cancer, it’s unclear why this presented as new information when it’s been mentioned in every women’s magazine in the last two decades…if not longer. Also, the “healthy detox” is just the diet of lean protein and more fruits and vegetables recommended by basically every medical professional.

Ostensibly this is Glamour‘s “Man Issue,” but that just means it contains pages and pages of quotes from random men. The guys reveal that they find women attractive and don’t care as much about trendy clothing as the ladies do. Also, they think about sex ALL THE TIME. Case in point: Tiger Woods, who is shown looking like a delivery man and wearing a chastity belt in a horrible illustration. Most of the article “Seriously, Guys, Do We Need to Lock You Up?” consists of blanket statements about how all men are wired to cheat, but we did glean some tips on urination etiquette from “Michelle, 31” who shares this story:

My husband moved out last year because he was “depressed.” I bent over backward trying to save our marriage, then got a Facebook message from a girl saying they’d had a long relationship and she might be pregnant. When I finished screaming, crying and vomiting, I went outside and, um, peed on his motorcycle — his “baby.” Not my finest moment, but it helped!

Click to enlarge.

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