Governor Says Job Numbers Are Down Because Everyone's on Drugs, Duh

By Katie J.M. Baker | April 30, 2013 | 9:00pm

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Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett just solidified his re-election platform: the state’s unemployment rate is shitty because so many of his constituents are stoned.

“There are many employers that say we’re looking for people but we can’t find anybody that has passed a drug test, a lot of them,” Corbett told a local radio show this week. “And that’s a concern for me because we’re having a serious problem with that.”