I Miss Roller Coasters

Some cathartic screaming sounds pretty appealing right now, huh?

Last summer, for the first time, I rode a roller coaster that went upside down—a big development for me, a noted chicken who is terrified of heights. Turns out I love roller coasters! And I couldn’t wait for this summer to offer the opportunity to ride some more! Guess not; even though many amusement parks are open, it doesn’t seem like a particularly fun time to go wandering around with a bunch of strangers. Eventually, though, we’ll be able to leave our houses for mere safely controlled thrills instead of risking our lives with every trip to the grocery store, and maybe some amusement parks will still be in business. Until then, let’s live vicariously through the archives.

You know these early roller coasters must’ve truly felt like taking your life into your hands. No thanks!

These women at the South Carolina State Fair in 1978 are both terrified and having the time of their lives.

This is “Zonker, a roller coaster-loving canine,” and his owner, both of them from Vermont. Here, they are attending the third annual convention of American Coaster fans, riding a coaster at Kennywood. It was, apparently, Zonker’s 16th ride (and second of the day).

Here’s an entire coaster full of couples (46, specifically) who agreed to get married mid-ride at Busch Gardens, in 1993, the plan being to submit the whole thing to the Guinness Book of Records.

To be clear, it wasn’t the first time somebody got married mid-ride. Here’s a couple tying the knot on an Oklahoma City coaster in 1991. This shot is nice because you can see the bride’s headgear in all its late ’80s/early ’90s glory. I think I had a dress-up costume featuring that exact same style of veil around this time. That matron of honor looks awfully skeptical though.

You see, roller coasters just make great venues for publicity stunts and photo calls, as further evidenced by this boat full of 1996 competitors for Miss Universe, taken somewhere in Los Vegas.

Also nice, speaking of boats: water parks. Maybe someday?