Imagine Being Married to Chip Gaines for 18 Years

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Imagine Being Married to Chip Gaines for 18 Years
Image:Jared C. Tilton (Getty Images)

Marriage. Beautiful thing. Nice to see when it works out. Happy for those who chose this life for themselves, so let me transfer these feelings of goodwill to the feelings of “OK, sure, man” that I feel every time I see or have to think about Chip Gaines.

Chip and Joanna have been married for 18 years! Their marriage can legally buy cigarettes and vote and, I think, gamble at one of those slot machines they have at the airport in Reno. I love this for them, and I also love their vacation, as seen through this endearing corny slideshow of their trip to Mexico, set to James Taylor’s “Mexico,” in case you weren’t clear on where they were or why.

Again, not my place to speculate on someone else’s marriage, but being married to Chip Gaines for almost two decades seems like it would take a lot of patience. Technically, don’t all marriages require patience? I think so. But Chip Gaines is a man who ate a cockroach on camera for a laugh and routinely throws himself into sheets of drywall for the same reason. I respect their love and the life they’ve built for each other. I also hope that somewhere on their massive farm in Waco, Joanna has a she-shed where she can take some time to practice deep breathing exercises and update her list of reasons why she married this man in the first place. Happy anniversary, you crazy kids. [People]

Checking in once more with Britney Spears.

The neon is a departure from her regularly scheduled programming, and I appreciate it. The boots? Also good. The comments? Rude-ish, though I do agree with some of the randos that this Wade Robson-ass choreo is a little weak. I assume Britney does what she does because it is what she knows how to do and what she knows how to do is dance like it’s the MTV VMAs in 2000. Perhaps these dance moves are only triggering to me, an elder, who can still (sort of) remember the dance from “(You Drive Me) Crazy [The Stop! Remix]. Regardless, I’m happy to see Britney happy, but I do wish she’d watch a YouTube or three and figure out a new vibe. [Instagram]

  • Nobody told Matthew Perry that life was gonna be this way *clap clap clap*—and by this way, I mean that he and his fiancée are calling the whole thing off. [People]
  • Shanna Moakler, ex-wife of Travis Barker, is on OnlyFans now. [Page Six]
  • Listen, good luck to that man who wants to marry Teresa Giudice, but give this woman a minute to collect herself, hasn’t she been through enough with her lil’ meatball-ass ex-husband? [Hollywood Life]
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