Important American Talents Cruelly Ignored By Parade Across America

By Hazel Cills  |  January 20, 2021 | 10:15pm
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Important American Talents Cruelly Ignored By Parade Across America
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The virtual Parade Across America this Inauguration Day was like a charming school talent show, a colorful montage of different states showcasing the various artistic talents of this country. There was hockey, fan-dancing, and, perhaps the most exciting, clogging, not to mention a small compilation of people skateboarding to Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams,” in the style of the famous TikTok trend. People painted and roller-skated their way through the virtual “parade,” and I was for the most part charmed.

But I found my brain wandering to the less celebrated American talents and traditions that are no less worthy of the television spotlight. I couldn’t help think that maybe in an attempt to showcase the melting pot that is America, the new administration left some crucial ingredients out of the pot. And so, here is a small list of American past times and icons that deserved their two minutes of fame.

  • Ultimate frisbee players
  • Ventriloquists
  • Bodega cats
  • Tri-state area Bar/Bat Mitzvah MCs
  • Trader Joes employees that flirt with customers and compliment their purchases
  • Snapewives
  • The cast of Euphoria
  • Chainsaw ice sculpture artists
  • Those dancing blow-up tube men you see flailing outside of car dealerships
  • Drag queens
  • Professional bowling leagues
  • Aliens (they exist and they’re living here, in this country, right now)

What talented group of American individuals do you think should have been in the Parade Across America?

 
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