While the Obamas are keeping an eye out for the perfect Presidential puppy, Dick Cheney‘s got one out for Osama bin Laden and one for his legacy, and Republicans are still eying the New Deal.
Despite all the pound puppy advocacy that has lit up the blogosphere since Barack Obama won the election and promised his girls a puppy, one name continues to resurface in the Obamas’ public statements about their choice. That name, sadly, is Labradoodle. I am sure that despite the silly name, Labradoodles are fine dogs but, frankly, they are not very Presidential-sounding and, Ted Kennedy advocacy aside, Portuguese water dogs are not any more Real American than arugula. Plus, you’re not likely to find either in the D.C. Humane Society shelter (though, presumably, there are rescue groups for breeds which are almost as good, I guess). Either way, quit with the Labradoodle. Get a dog America can believe in.
One other pick Obama has made is that of Sharon Watkins to lead the post-inauguration National Prayer Service, which he probably hopes will mellow that harsh taste in people’s mouths from letting Rick Warren give the Inaugural invocation but totally won’t in the end. It also won’t let liberals ignore that he’s not keen to start investigating — let alone prosecuting — the Bushies, though he won’t stand in anyone’s way. Between Warren, not forgoing governing to start prosecuting and — gasp — talking about tax cuts (which are nearly always supported by those pesky swing voters), Obama is seeming less like the most liberal, practically Marxist, Senator that McCain and Palin promised and more like a centrist guy interested in reaching out to everyone that he said he was and no one wanted to believe he could really be. Hell, he’s not even going to bring back the estate tax.
But at least he’s going to close Gitmo, and GOP Senator Jon Kyl is doing his part to make him seem really liberal by claiming that anyone that doesn’t support torture doesn’t deserve to be in the Executive Branch, which is, I guess, a start. Bush is himself taking personal credit for signing off on torture, which is, I guess, part of that legacy he wants to leave office with. Cheney, however, gets to leave office having expanded the power of the executive branch and, you know, what the hell, they’ve still got a couple of days to find Osama bin Laden and redeem the entire enterprise, so there you go. You know, since the New Deal failed and all, which makes about as much sense as anything the GOP is saying these days.
And Joe The Motherfucking Plumber is there to help, heading to Israel to let us all know that reporters should never report on war because it, like, totes interferes with government propaganda about how important war is. Not that we’re seeing any other alternative news source because this Administration has been so effective at propagandizing against them already.
Oh, right, and Biden’s resigning on Thursday, Clinton’s got her confirmation hearings this week, Bush found a bail-out package he didn’t like, it’s going to be cold as balls for the Inauguration, and Michelle’s mother is totally moving in. At least Obama knows where he can go for some authentic food in D.C. though, even if it’s only half a smoke.