Jeb Bush Is Very Relieved He's Losing the Primary to 'Jerk' Donald Trump


Jeb Bush, the saddest sack of a man to ever run for public office, seems very relieved that he won’t ever be the President. In an interview with CBS’s Face the Nation, the other Bush said that not being the frontrunner made him feel “much better.”

Bush, who is currently 30 points behind frontrunner and lumpy bigot Donald Trump, admitted that he feels much more comfortable polling in fourth (or fifth, depending on the poll) among the Republican presidential candidates. “Yeah, I hated that,” he said of his early lead and the crushing expectation that he-0the so-called “grown up”—could win the nomination. “I feel much better back here … I’ve always thought that there was going to be a high expectation for me.”

Then Jeb went all existential, delving into his Freudian father issues: “I totally get it … because I have a brother that was president and a father that was president. And that higher expectation was important to realize. And so, being the frontrunner made me feel like the other guys [were] just dancing right through this.” But there’s no need to worry about sad Jeb Bush, he’s perfectly resigned to his destiny, “I feel good about where we are right now,” he said.

Apparently, sad rich guy is the hottest trend in losing a campaign. But, in the meantime, Bush is awkwardly going through the motions of campaigning, a treat for all of us. In a New Hampshire stop, Bush tried to fend off Trump’s labelling of him as “low energy.” “Donald Trump is a jerk,” Bush told the crowd. “I gave myself therapy there,” he added. Then he looked into the distance and fondly recalled the days when he—Jeb, governor of the worst state in America—was the favored son.

Image via AP.

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Share Tweet Submit Pin