Jennifer Aniston Advised To Make Mad Dash For Brad Pitt’s Sperm

CelebritiesDirt Bag

They’ve been divorced for longer than Justin Bieber has been alive (or so it seems) but the besmirched union of Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt still has the ability to tickle us in that spot like no ruined marriage has been able to since. So of course when we hear a story about poor ol’ “baby-mad” Jen being advised to secretly procure some of Brad’s sperm for her own turkey baster needs we — and the editors of US — writhe with pleasure. Therefore, hats off to Maureen Dowd who took us on a street-walk down memory lane yesterday by dropping this juicy little nugget in her article remembering Hollywood agent Sue Mengers in The New York Times: “She was a yenta who loved fixing people up, in work and in love. If a match struck, she would urge the woman, ‘We have to close the deal.’ After Brad Pitt left Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie, Mengers told me that she advised her beloved Jen to ask Brad for some of his sperm.” Misty water-colored memories … [Vulture, NYT]

The Christmas weekend is almost upon us and no matter what denomination you are it guarantees a pretty drunken couple of days for most. But for those of you who have to abstain for whatever reason my gift to you is to instead get drunk with cynical pleasure on this mind-boggling homemade music video Kris Jenner created for her 30th birthday. It may have done the rounds before but this is the first time I’ve clapped eyes on it. It’s a bitchy Christmas miracle! [OMG]

No matter how you feel about that annoying exclamation mark in her name, P!nk has always seemed like a really cool human being. As evidenced by her love for animals, which she showed in a major way by paying $5,000 for life-saving surgery on a puppy that was thrown off an LA overpass into a river. Which earns her unlimited exclamation usage for life. For those of you still looking for holiday gifts for your ungrateful family, you can donate on their behalf to the same rescue organization that P!nk helped out here. [TMZ]

The trailer for Bel Ami shows Robert Pattinson getting it on with half of CAA’s client list – including Uma Thurman, Christina Ricci and Kristin Scott Thomas – but all I can think about is how Twihards are in for a rude shock when they Google the name for his new movie and are directed towards the site of the iconic barely legal Eastern European gay porn company of the same name. [NSFW, natch]. [E!]

Fans of Matisyahu might want to skip on to the next post because the dub reggae star has continued to act like a total dick after kicking Papermag photographer Rebecca Smeyne in the face and trashing her camera while she was doing her job. Though his PR team have apologized for his behavior he decided to reneg on that with the following Tweet: “Sorry about last night. I totally snapped. I wouldn’t call it a kick, more like stepping into the crowd. And being that you’ve shot so many shows you should know how distracting a huge flash in your face is. Seemed like you were there everywhere I turned with that flash. Next time be more sensitive to the performer.” Nice guy. [Papermag]

  • It may be a little premature seeing as it’s not due out for another six months, but here is the teaser trailer for Alien prequel, Prometheus. In space no one can hear you scream (due to excitement). [Daily Mail]
  • Apparently rockers get a free pass, because rapper Tyler The Creator was arrested after he trashed some equipment at the Roxy on Sunset Boulevard. [TMZ]
  • Upon hearing that Hilary Swank had a “hillbilly-style” holiday party you might feel mildly offended on behalf of proud hicks everywhere. But then you remember that Hilary grew up in a trailer park so if there’s anyone that can get away with it it’s her. Bonus points for keeping it real with Natural Light, Bud Light and Tang-and-vodka punch. [Page Six]
  • Phew, I didn’t know what to make of Lindsay Lohan‘s Playboy shoot, so thank god arbiter of style Michael Lohan has given it the thumbs up. [NYDN]
  • Jonah Hill was living under Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie‘s roof for four months. [US]
  • So many artists today look up to early Madonna for inspiration and so does the lady herself, revealing the posters for her Truth Or Dare fragrance. Because apparently her team couldn’t come up with a better name. [E!]
  • I’m saving the season finale of American Horror Story to placate me after the genuine horror of my family’s Christmas lunch so I can’t read these season two spoilers lest they give up the jig. Someone report back: does it look like it’ll be as amazing as the first? [E!]
  • For the few of you who care, Jim Carrey went to a Guns ‘N Roses concert with the ubiquitous “mystery blonde” last night. [Film-News]
  • See, the stars are just like us, with Rihanna ordering Mickey D’s after a London concert last night. [The Sun]
  • It looks like one of Leonardo DiCaprio‘s many one-night stands has been upgraded — with Page Six saying he’s actually dating model Erin Heatherton. [Page Six]
  • Clearly paying little attention to detail, Jones Magazine releases issue featuring a pre-pregnancy-Beyoncé. [Daily Mail]
  • Kids say the darndest things, like Toddlers And Tiaras star Isabella Barrett making fun of her competition for dressing like a prostitute. [TMZ]
  • Showing us all how to do it right, Debra Messing and her soon-to-be ex-husband Daniel Zelman are behaving like adults and living under the same roof for the sake of their kid until they can work out this whole divorce thing. [E!]
  • Taylor Armstrong filed for divorce from her now dead ex-husband Russell Armstrong in order to stay on the Real Housewives. [Radar]
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