Kody Brown's Precious Seeds Require Neverending Supply Of Wombs [Updated]

By Anna North | November 30, 2011 | 8:55pm

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On TV, Kody Brown hasn’t gone into much depth about why having multiple spouses is a privilege reserved for men. But on Twitter, he explains — and the answer involves his seed.

Brown’s wife Meri previously explained, somewhat vaguely, why she wouldn’t be into brother husbands: “I would not ever choose to have more than one husband. From a religious standpoint, because I don’t believe that that’s right. And also from a personal standpoint, I need my ‘me’ time, and I wouldn’t get it if I had many guys around.” On Twitter, her (one) husband has a different explanation. When asked “Would society ever evolve to a point where we had #BrotherHusbands, ala #SisterWives?,” Kody Brown responded, “No, too many negatives with women having multiple men. Diseases, risk of being labeled a whore etc.” He also wrote, “Look! It’s scientific for women to want only 1 man, while men want more than 1 women. Not gross, but rather science.” The real piece de resistance, though, is his response to a question posed by Roseanne, who asked on November 20, “why would you subject yourselves to multiple wives-are you completely masochistic or just crazy?” Kody replied,

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Men can procreate well into their 70’s, 80’s, while women cannot. My seeds shouldn’t be wasted because of menopause.

This implies that Brown will continue marrying new wives until he is physically incapable of impregnating them. He’d previously opined that since a man can be fertile into his eighties, “It’s unfair for his abilities to be cut off because his wives cannot birth.” Also, “biologically speaking, men are like plants and women are like dirt. Am I wrong?” Well, yes. If you’re going to compare men to plants, then “biologically speaking,” women would be … also plants. It’s also somewhat odd that Brown thinks brother husbands would give women diseases — all Mormons are supposed to practice abstinence before marriage, so in theory polygamists who share Brown’s religion should be STD-free. And if he’s talking about average, premarital-sexing types, then having four husbands wouldn’t put ladies at any greater STD risk than having four male partners over the course of their lives (something that’s quite common in the non-Sister Wives universe). The only way Brown’s comment makes sense is if he’s imagining a world where men have premarital sex but women don’t, which raises the question of who dudes are banging.

But no matter — Kody’s seed will not be denied. He appears to be recruiting for the position of fifth wife on Twitter. JustUnstableMe tweeted, “I don’t get why ppl are so against polygamy. Its looks like fun to me. He gets the rotation of different women & so do I. Sharing is caring.” Brown responded, “Wow that’s awesome! Would you like to be # 5?” If the Twitter route doesn’t work, he can always call God for dating advice. He explains how: “when you’re feeling low and you want to talk to God, dial his phone number, I have it and want to give it to you, its: J-E-S-U-S.”

Update: The account appears to be fake — this is the real one. We have been punked by a Twitter impostor with a poor understanding of science and a feud with Roseanne. But the fake Kody knows a lot about real Kody — he knows, for instance, that Kody has joked about brother-marrying Brad Pitt. Who is this Kody fan-personator?

Kody Brown [Twitter]