Lana Del Rey to Lady Gaga: You Suck

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Lyrics from a leaked Lana Del Rey song that slams Lady Gaga have emerged on the Internet, because last night that kid from Angels in The Outfield wished for a lame, inconsequential version of Jay-Z/Nas.

The song, “So Legit,” is thought to have been written around 2009, before Del Rey’s first album Born To Die and before the two were enjoying those freakjob slumber parties with Lindsay Lohan at the Chateau Marmont:

“Stefani, you suck/I know you’re selling 20 million. Wish they could have seen you when we booed you off in Williamsburg/You’re looking like a man/You’re talking like a baby/ Have we all gone Gaga crazy?”

Naturally, legions of Little Monsters are now attacking Del Rey on Twitter. I think being responsible for an actual lyric that goes “Stefani, you suck” is punishment enough. [NYDN]

Solange Knowles has cancelled all European appearances on her tour, announcing apologetically that she’s become overwhelmed with all of her responsibilities.

From her statement: “Between moving part time to a new city, starting my son in a new school, and writing/ recording my new record…I really had to make the best decision for my mental/physical health and provide some stability for my family.” [Bossip]

While it has always been crystal-clear who is top dog in Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey’s Dem House, it’s even more so now that Mimi’s laid up with a dislocated shoulder and cracked ribs because Nick is serving her cocktail shrimp in the palace. And kissing each and every shrimp before he places it on that big glass of

“She’s kinda been propped up,” Cannon told us at a Snapple event. “The doctor said as much rest and relaxation as she can possibly get… I just try to be the best supportive husband I can be… I help dial numbers on her iPhone and finish text messages.”

I was going to handcraft a tailor-made artisinal LOL about that for you guys, but… uh, that kind of sounds amazing. Good job, Nick Cannon. [Page Six]

Taylor Swift, arguably the Glinda the Good Witch of the tweenybopper Tiger Beat crowd (Justin Bieber OBVIOUSLY being a flying monkey), left a $500 tip on an $800 dinner check at an Italian place in Philadelphia.

The manager confirms that T-Swizzle’s a regular, and “very, very nice.” Among those in attendance at dinner was Ed Sheeran, who imagined lifting a fork of fettucine alfredo tenderly to Taylor’s mouth while this played in the background. [Radar Online]

It has been awhile since there was a “Jennifer Lawrence Is Just A RegsGirl!™” nugget, so here’s one: J-Law geeked out when she met Jeff Bridges at Comic-Con. After running to cower in the corner, she returned to grab the mic from the Extra dude and chat with him. It’s no Jack Nicholson encounter, but it’s cute. [USA Today]

  • Rihanna was so moved by a crowd in Lilles, France that she started crying. Makes sense. I bet they made her wait for them. [Gossip Cop]
  • Debbie Rowe will testify about Michael Jackson’s drug use. [TMZ]
  • Jimmy Fallon and Nancy Juvonen Fallon’s daughter is (adorably) named Winnie Rose Fallon. I adore it. [People]
  • Oh, and Amanda Bynes also took her pants off during the gasoline fire. [NYDN]
  • Hova and Beyonce sans Blue Ivy spent the day in Boston. Meanwhile, in the middle of getting a hot stone massage with Matt Damon, Ben Affleck’s ears start tingling. [People]
  • Chrissy Teigen and John Legend will be getting married on Mars. [Us Weekly]
  • Other news from Mars: “A Sintessi ruby poodle pin raised $5,000 at the Southampton Animal Shelter Foundation Gala.” I wore something like that on my crushed velvet shirt at the seventh grade semi-formal! But it was rhinestones, and a cartoon-anime cat, because I was a well-adjusted adolescent with a full life and many friends. [Page Six]
  • Kris Jenner talked about faking orgasms on her show. (“I’ve never!” said one audience member. Replied Khloe Kardashian: “I love you, but I feel like you’re lying.” Point: Khloe.) [Us Weekly]
  • Who wants to crash Fergie’s baby shower? I’ll bring the ‘ludes, you just bring your go-get-’em attitude. [Page Six]
  • I have Scarlett Johansson’s hat, so we’re more or less the same person. [Us Weekly]
  • Kate Winslet is starting to show. [Us Weekly]
  • Hererere is the first pic of James Franco on the set of The Mindy Project. [E!]
  • Don’t ask Patti Mallette about her douche nugget of a son, Justin Bieber. [Radar Online]
  • Former Weiner sexter Lisa Weiss wished Monica Lewinsky a happy birthday on Twitter: “Happy bday monica Lewinsky! i would have blown bill too, and still would, yea [sic], i said it! can’t blame u a bit honey!” AND MANY MOOOORE. [Radar Online]

Lede images via Pacific Coast News Online.

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