Leave the Lady Who Dipped Her Chicken in Soda Alone!

So it’s confusing, and dare I say, a tad unpatriotic, that everyone is giving this lady at the U.S. Open such a hard time for dipping her chicken fingers in a cup of soda. The only way she could be celebrating Labor Day any harder would be if she she shot a bald eagle out of the sky while floating down a river on a steeply discounted mattress. Replace that tired snake on the Gadsden flag with this:

While this libertine dunks her fried food in heart attack juice, her dining companion is sucking down water and delivering what looks like a sermon on the many dangers of soda. Shut up, hippie!! Let this woman dip what she wants, when she wants to. Let her dip a hot dog in a beer! Let her dip a fried pickle in a Mai Tai! Let her dip an entire honey roasted ham in a plastic laundry tub of Fernet!

What’s the most fucked up thing you’ve ever dipped chicken in? What’s the most fucked up thing you would dip chicken in? A decade after it became passé, I still douse everything I can in ranch dressing, but I’m sure I could come up with something much worse. But I’m sleepy, so please do it for me in the comments.