In my short time working at this website, one thing that I’ve learned is to never write the “this thing is perfect” piece because as soon as its written something terrible will happen and that thing will no longer be perfect. But in this case, I reject the wisdom of my elders and declare that there is something perfect in the world: Behold Casey Short’s ponytail. I beseech you all to see it and bask in its perfection.
On Sunday, the Chicago Red Stars faced off against the Utah Royals in another installment of the National Women’s Soccer League’s Challenge Cup. Short, who scored the only goal of the game, gave a stellar performance that was completely upstaged by her majestic ponytail, which I have named Allison.
Allison the ponytail is comprised of perfectly formed golden ringlets that frame Casey Short’s head like a bouncy halo. No matter how Short moved, Allison the ponytail was there—reliable, never breaking formation.
It’s truly a scientific miracle that after 90 minutes of running back and forth, Allison the ponytail still looks fresh and vibrant. Never in hair history has a ponytail worked so hard and been so successful.
One ponytail to rule them all.
