Welcome to Day 2 of Jezebel’s March Madness, ladies and gentlemen! We’ve got a lot to plow through today, so let’s get started.
From the Internet Social Division:
First up, Instagram Filters (8) lock horns with Memes (9) in a bloody clash of millennial photo-doctoring mechanisms. U WANNA BE PRETTY, OR U WANNA BE FUNNY? And here comes Skype Sex (5), with its unique flavor that blends functionality with a dash of something more ominous, facing off against Sliding Into DMs (12), a descriptor that makes any Twitter-savvy horndog sound smoother than they almost always are. The choice is yours! Up next: Twitter Fights Between Other People (4) vs. Facebook Friends’ 3D Ultrasound Pics (13). Which cringe is the more fun kind of cringe?
Then we’ve got Throwback Thursday (6) and YouTube Comments (11) heading onto the court—only one thing’s for sure, and it’s that your friends sure have a lot of baby pics on hand! Did they steal a photo album over Christmas, or something? Later, it’s Surprise Albums (3) vs. Facebook With Your Republican Relatives (14), and this is tough: Can Drake’s mixtape really come out on top against all those deer your Aunt Laci killed for sport? Next up, Eggplant Friday (7), a dick party we’re all invited to, is pitted against OKCupid Messages That Are Like “Hey u r beautiful” (10), a dick party you could go to if you’re sure it’s a good idea but text me every 10 minutes so we know you’re okay. Rounding out Round 1 for this division is Emojis (2) vs. Social Justice Tumblr (15). Either way, seems like the English language is on its way out.
Get your vote on below:
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Moving on to the Internet Antisocial Division:
First up, it’s Pinteresting Your Dream Home From a Dingy Studio Apartment (8) vs. Staying Up Late Watching Cat Videos (9), and man, is that a tough one! Life is a nightmare, and we’re all just trying to escape! Then we have the sometimes-alarming but always educational YouTube Makeup Tutorials (5) going up against Unsubscribing (12), that thing you do when your old Flamenco teacher keeps trying to get you to sign up for another class and I’m sorry, no, you were always an hour late and I broke my foot! Next: Seamless (4) vs. Having 10,000 Unread Emails (13), followed by Online Shopping When You’re Hungover (6) vs. Unfriending (11). Human nature is disgusting, and there’s nothing you or I can ever do to change that!
Internet Stalking Potential Dates (3) is on next, playing it’s creepy heart out against WebMD Telling You That You Might Have Cancer For Free (14). Knowledge is power! Then comes Muting People (7)—which is where you can delete someone from your Twitter feed without letting them know that you hate them—vs. Filthy Fanfiction (10). “I know what ‘muting’ means, Ellie, god!” you might be thinking angrily. Well, some of us only learned about muting today! “Why does Ellie write for the Internet when she literally doesn’t know anything?” you might be asking yourself. Can’t answer that question, folks! Last up for the Internet Antisocial Division is: Free Porn (2) vs. Zit Popping Videos (15). Satisfaction comes in many forms, people!
Vote now:
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You have 24 hours to vote!
If you want to print out your own bracket and dutifully follow along from home, here you go!