Mariah Carey Wins American Idol Diva Musical Chairs

By Anna Breslaw  |  July 13, 2012 | 1:00pm
CelebritiesDirt Bag

You have doubtlessly shed a bitter tear over professional fishmouth Steven Tyler‘s departure from his post as an American Idol judge. Said Tyler in what could loosely be called a statement: “After some long…hard…thoughts…I’ve decided it’s time for me to let go of my mistress ‘American Idol’ before she boils my rabbit.” (That is a Fatal Attraction reference, not the sexual euphemism that I thought it was initially, as in “put your rabbit away, Steven Tyler”.) Now it seems that Jennifer Lopez is hinting about leaving and Randy Jackson might step down in favor of a more “mentoring” role. Chaos!

But lo, a new sunrise breaks over the horizon, for Mimi Carey might step in to fill the void. She is in talks to be a new judge along with a “freshened-up” judges’ panel that the producers are currently working on. You heard it here first: American Idol is getting a douche.

Awesome, because she’s great on television.

[Us Magazine]

Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan and Lana Del Rey supposedly had a slumber party at the Chateau Marmont, spending the evening watching old movies and playing cocaine. Did I say cocaine? I meant “old board games.” Supposedly it was LiLo’s idea, and she and Gaga played dress-up (Lana Del Rey was not included in this part, so I assume she was doing some melancholy, drugged swaying.) This group of people hanging out together is EXACTLY like that scene in The Craft where they beach all those sharks with magic but instead of conjuring “The guardians of the watchtowers of the North” they’re conjuring Terry Richardson. [MTV UK]

“Sex and sexuality is not about whether your elbows or knees are wrinkled. A man turns to you and says: ‘I love the way you laugh.’ That’s what’s turning him. They love a line around your eye or your mouth, because it tells them you’ve laughed and you’re going to laugh and be forgiving and embracing. Men want to know that you’re going to be forgiving and embracing. Believe me when I tell you a 20-year-old is not going to do that.Do I look great or am I in denial because I’m just pretending that it isn’t what it is – I’m getting older? But I think because a bunch of 25-year-olds are asking me on dates, I do look better.” –Sharon Stone talked about laugh lines in OK! Magazine. [Belfast Telegraph]

A CLUELESS REUNION (?!) is not happening, but didn’t that make you read this? On Watch What Happens Live, two of the seminal film’s stars, Jeremy Sisto and Donald Faison, joked about a decades-later sequel. Sisto admitted that he was surprised it had never been pitched, but “A ‘Clueless’ thing where we’re, like, parents. If that happens … that’s gonna be a bad day.” I must respectfully disagree, Jeremy Sisto. Because getting off the freeway makes you realize how important love is. [HuffPo]