Maybe This Explains Why It Took Vanessa Trump So Long? America Needs to Know.

CelebritiesDirt Bag

Correlation is not causation, but Page Six is reading between the lines in this report that Donald Trump Jr.’s long-suffering wife Vanessa filed for divorce after her family received a large sum of money from her late father’s investments. Nobody’s asking why she would file a divorce, but instead how in God’s name she endured a guy who looks like he keeps getting whole gumballs stuck in his throat because nobody’s the boss of him. A man who allegedly announced he was leaving her for Aubrey O’Day seven years ago while Vanessa was pregnant. A man who told Adam Carolla, “Can you believe the hell I’m going through? I’m at the Playboy mansion with a pregnant wife!” Whatever, everybody totally gets it! Congratulations, Vanessa!

It was also revealed yesterday that he and his wan, shadowy brother just blew a minimum of $73,000 in taxpayer dollars on a wedding trip to Dubai which had no relation to government business whatsoever, according to CBS News. I hope the airplane wifi was BAD because I’m THAT spiteful.


Zayn Malik has ended America’s harrowing 24 hours after deleting all of his Instagrams by returning with a thrilling documentary:

The components make no more sense in video than they do as a list:

  • a suitcase
  • three(?) women or one woman in three wigs
  • a beachside condo
  • red velvet upholstery
  • Zayne thinking; Zayne confused; Zayne horny
  • large men with guns
  • Zayne again, different hair color
  • ALL CAPS red font promising POWER, GREED, VENGEANCE, SEDUCTION, PASSION, LOYALTY, MONEY, LOVE, and REVENGE
  • commenter: “zaaayn”

He’s produced some music with this? It “begins” April 12th.


 
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