Megan Fox Had a Secret Baby, I Guess? Like, in September?

CelebritiesDirt Bag

Apparently a baby came out of Megan Fox‘s birth canal and then nobody ever spoke of it. I mean, until just now. Either the info was kept tightly concealed on purpose or just nobody bothered to ask—but anyway, Fox gave birth to a healthy baby boy named Noah, noble heir to the Peach Pit After Dark fortune. Fox and beau Brian Austin Green, reportedly, are U4IC.

We have been very lucky to have had a peaceful few weeks at home, but I would like to release this myself before others do. I gave birth to our son Noah Shannon Green on September 27th. He is healthy, happy, and perfect.
We are humbled to have the opportunity to call ourselves the parents of this beautiful soul and I am forever grateful to God for allowing me to know this kind of boundless, immaculate love.
Thanks to those of you who wish to send your positive energy and well wishes. May God bless you and your families abundantly.

Ehh, I like you crazy kids. Carry on. [TheSuperficial]

Anne Hathaway sold her wedding photos to various tabloids and is ADORABLY donating the proceeds to support marriage equality:

The newlywed has long been an advocate for LGBT rights. And now, the 29-year-old actress is donating a portion of the sales from her wedding pictures to nonprofits advocating for marriage for same-sex couples, according to FreedomToMarry.Org.
Hathaway will also reportedly donate some of the profits to the American Cancer Society, St. Jude Children’s Research and The Girl Effect.

Guuuuuuhhhh, can I polygamously gay-marry this news item already? Get on it, homosexual agenda!!!!! [E!]

Stephen Colbert says that he and Jon Stewart aren’t BFFs IRL because Stephen is too much of a shrinking fangirl:

“I would say the thing that has kept me from being as good a friend to Jon as I would like is just that I’m such a fan,” the 48-year-old tells the mag. “I am gobsmacked by his abilities.”
He goes on to note, however, that they do have their fair share of bonding moments.
“But that being said, we go out to dinner, and we sometimes pick up the phone just to say, ‘How are you?'” he says. “Or, ‘Do you mind if I tell you how I am? I had a s—-ty week.'”


The long-horned homunculus of VH1, otherwise known as Flavor Flav, was arrested last night for alleged assault with a deadly weapon.

According to the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department, who responded to a 911 call from Flav’s house, the artist allegedly got into a domestic dispute with his fiancée and her teenager and supposedly threatened one of them with a knife and physically attacked the other.

Here’s a fake transcript I just made up: “Yooooo, knife! I’m going to make up a name for you and call you Nyffeeeigh! If you promise not to poop on my floor I’ll take you for a hot air balloon ride and burn your weave oooooooooooff. Waaaaaaaaawwwww.” Nyffeeeigh could not be reached for comment. [E!]

  • Uma Thurman had a baby and named it Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson. Here’s hoping it never falls in a well. [People]
  • Jamie Oliver and Jonathan Ross had a food fight on a roller coaster and it was fucking gross. [DailyMail]
  • Manila from Ru Paul’s Drag Race is still really sad (OBVIOUSLY) about the death of her boyfriend Sahara Davenport. [E!]
  • Alfonso Ribeiro did NOT do the Carlton dance at his wedding, and screw you for asking, Mr. Perkins. [DailyMail]
  • Holly Madison‘s boyfriend accidentally told everyone the sex of their unborn child (it’s a girl) and everyone cares for some reason even though WHY. THERE ARE PRETTY MUCH ONLY TWO CHOICES. [E!]
  • Lauren Conrad is really proud of her frenema (it’s like a frenemy but with more poop on it?) Kristin Cavallari for dropping her baby weight, which is pretty much the best compliment you can give someone who has literally no other achievements or even a job. Then she delivered a zinger about Justin Bobby. I will allow it. [Us]
  • Ashton Kutcher has the most money. [ContactMusic]
  • Nicole Richie‘s daughter Harlow hates their German Shepard and has vowed to murder it with her bare hands. [Us]
  • J.K. Rowling explains that 50 Shades of Grey is terrible because it’s just a stupid porno, u guyz. Chill. It’s supposed to be bad. []
  • 😀 [YouTube]
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