Meghan Markle Is Giving Her Own Damn Wedding Speech


It’s not traditional for the bride to give a speech at a royal wedding, but Meghan Markle is turning all the crumpet baskets on their heads.

The Sunday Times reports that Markle will be breaking from tradition and giving a toast at her wedding to Prince Harry. Generally, this is an honor reserved for the groom, the father of the bride, and the best man. They kind of survey all the men in the area to see if they have something to say about what’s happening, but the bride stays out of it.

Markle’s father is walking her down the aisle, but he is supposedly “very private,” so she will be getting to do her tight five. The woman who brought the screen to life with her dynamic performance on Suits will surely enthrall a crowd of British dignitaries who have never seen a woman in a wedding dress speak before. Harry, of course, gives his full support:

A source said: “The feeling is if Meghan’s father doesn’t speak for her, she wants to have the chance to thank her husband and everyone who has supported them. Harry thinks it’s a great idea.”

This woman was born for this, but just in case the Jez staff has a few zingers, if she needs suggestions:

  • “What’s with the white toast and beans? Am I right?”
  • “Have all you people eating blood pudding heard that you can eat pudding without blood in it?”
  • “I hope I never have to send Harry to the dog house—it’s full of corgis.”
  • “More like the Duchess of Lamebridge.”
  • “They say the British are an aloof people, but I’ve found them very welcoming. The Queen once considered giving me a handshake.”

Those are the freebies, contact me directly for more, Meghan.

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