Met Gala 2022: All the Looks That Gave Us John Jacob Astor or Just Half-Assed

Kim Kardashian, Bella Hadid, Lizzo and more showed up at the Metropolitan Museum of Art to give us their best (and worst) takes on Gilded Age New York.

BeautyStyle
Photo: Getty Images (Getty Images)

It’s the first Monday of May so the celebrities, fashion auteurs, and well-connected rich people around the world are coalescing on the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City to shove their wealth and Botoxed brows in our inferior little faces. Happy fucking Met Gala, my darlings.

As the second part of the first-ever two-part Met Gala (the first was in September 2021), attendees have been asked to “embody the grandeur—and perhaps the dichotomy—of Gilded Age New York,” according to Vogue for this year’s theme: “In America: An Anthology of Fashion.”

“The period, which stretched from 1870 to 1890, was one of unprecedented prosperity, cultural change, and industrialization, when both skyscrapers and fortunes seemingly arose overnight,” the publication continues.

This year’s official co-chairs and hosts are Regina King, Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, and Lin-Manuel Miranda, while Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour will continue her nearly 30-year reign as honorary co-chair. Notably, this year’s fete is steeped in a bit of controversy as Conde Nast has yet to recognize its unionized workers—who will surely work to cover the event, one of the longest days in fashion without a lick of overtime pay. All so that Americans can squabble over the worst “accidental” incidents of cultural appropriation on a global stage. What a delight!

Vogue has noted that the Gala will “focus on inclusivity in fashion” in an attempt to surface designers and artists “forgotten, overlooked or relegated into the footnotes of fashion history.” Ironically, many celebs overlooked homegrown American designers of color during last year’s Americana-themed event, instead using their bodies as vehicles for established Eurocentric brand names. We’d absolutely love Vogue to admit its own part in the erasure and marginalization of Black and brown designers, but that’s likely too ambitious of an ask for a night that literally spells out a stark division between the “storied” and the “forgotten.”

While the Met Gala has previously given us criminal justice commentary from Rihanna, who said she was inspired by the black hoodie as representation for the outsized criminalization of Black people, Madonna’s assless chaps, AOC’s “Tax the Rich” gown in a room full of noticeably rich people, Jared Leto featuring Jared Leto’s head as an accessory, and Zendaya content for all of eternity, this year’s Met Gala feels a bit like an obsolete dinosaur. It’s an evening both characterized and cherished for its gatekeeping of the upper class. Those who have class, clout, and the right amount of cultural cachet in the eyes of one out-of-touch media elitist score a place on the carpet, all in the middle of a reignited labor movement. Even this year’s couture gobblers think the event has lost its touch and gone “Halloween,” according to The New York Post (Katy Perry’s hamburger ensemble, anyone?).

Anyway, onto some insightful ass-ripping, I mean critiques!

Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian
Photo: Arturo Holmes/MG22/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue (Getty Images)

Wrong era, but who the fuck cares, Kim Kardashian is really wearing the iconic “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” Marilyn Monroe dress. Two sex symbols, one dress. What can anyone say?

Kylie Jenner

Kylie Jenner
Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images (Getty Images)

A weird wedding dress and a backwards hat. Thanks, we hate it.

Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian

Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian
Photo: John Shearer/Getty Images (Getty Images)

A kilt and a deconstructed tuxedo: hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. On brand.

Megan Thee Stallion

Megan Thee Stallion
Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images (Getty Images)

Well, she has the “gilded” part down!

Lizzo

Lizzo
Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty Images (Getty Images)

I’d throw down my entire dowry to have her play at my 1800s wedding.

Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj
Photo: Arturo Holmes/MG22/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue (Getty Images)

Gilded Age meets streetwear. A bit confusing, but we stan.

Kiki Layne

Kiki Layne
Photo: ANGELA WEISS/AFP via Getty Images (Getty Images)

She’s absolutely perfect. Belle of the ball.

Emily Ratajkowski

Emily Ratajkowski
Photo: John Shearer/Getty Images (Getty Images)

Is she cosplaying “gypsy?” I don’t get it.

Khloe Kardashian

Khloe Kardashian
Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images (Getty Images)

It’s her first Met Ball, let’s just let her have this one.

Addison Rae

Addison Rae
Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty Images (Getty Images)

She’s a cracked mirror who does not give a fuck about themes! Bad luck for seven years.

Maggie Rogers

Maggie Rogers
Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty Images (Getty Images)

The pixie cut, the free nipples... all perfectly on brand.

Kerry Washington

Kerry Washington
Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images (Getty Images)

Corset, romanticism, tulle? Check, check, and check.

Kendall Jenner

Kendall Jenner
Photo: Getty Images (Getty Images)

I hate it when she looks good, it goes against every fiber of my being. But yes, she slayed.

Gwen Stefani

Gwen Stefani
Photo: Getty Images (Getty Images)

Okay, highlighters weren’t invented til 1962. OFF-THEME.

Katy Perry

Katy Perry
Photo: Arturo Holmes/MG22/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue (Getty Images)

I preferred the hamburger, honestly.

Bella Hadid

Bella Hadid
Photo: Photo by John Shearer/Getty Images (Getty Images)

We’ve just discovered that there is, in fact, something worse than socks and sandals.

Cara Delevingne

Cara Delevingne
Photo: John Shearer/Getty Images (Getty Images)

I mean, it’s at least interesting! I just can’t stop staring at the gold spray-painted pasties!!

Gigi Hadid

Gigi Hadid
Photo: Kevin Mazur/MG22/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue (Getty Images)

If the Queen of Hearts lived in an igloo?

Billie Eilish

Billie Eilish
Photo: Getty Images (Getty Images)

This gentle flower, you see, it rests upon my chest. And beneath it lies my heart, which beats wildly for Zendaya, who is not here.

Blake Lively

Blake Lively
Photo: The Met Museum/Vogue (Getty Images)

I know we make fun of Miss Lively for styling herself like it’s 2009, but damn, I’m speechless. The regal gloves, chrome train, emerald earrings: SHE is the moment. Someone please make sure Anna knows the night is all about Blake, and not at all about her!!!

Tessa Thompson

Tessa Thompson
Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images (Getty Images)

The only kind of balletcore I can get behind.

Lenny Kravitz

Lenny Kravitz
Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty Images (Getty Images)

Go off, you little harlequin.

Camila Cabello

Camila Cabello
Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue (Getty Images)

I’m getting Marie Antoinette’s garden in full bloom. Extra points for the shoulder pads.

Cynthia Erivo

Cynthia Erivo
Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty Images (Getty Images)

Will someone kindly go fetch the Duchess a glass of champagne? We are celebrating this look.

Normani

Normani
Photo: Theo Wargo/WireImage (Getty Images)

This ensemble is Wicked good. Will be plastering glitter on my stomach in the name of Normani forever more.

Emma Stone

Emma Stone
Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty Images (Getty Images)

She looked the gilded age right in the eye...

Elon Musk

Elon Musk
Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty Images (Getty Images)

Spot on, Elon! That’s exactly what I’d look like if you approached me!!

Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner

Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner
Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images (Getty Images)

Joe: Phantom of the Opera. Sophie: A Victorian lady ghost who has leapt straight from a painting in a haunted mansion. Nailed it.

Sebastian Stan

Sebastian Stan
Photo: Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic (Getty Images)

Cool pink suit, bro. Where you going?

Alicia Keys

Alicia Keys
Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images (Getty Images)

In NEW YAAAAAWK, Alicia’s shown us what concrete dreams are made of. And how to rock a skyline cape.

Sarah Jessica Parker

Sarah Jessica Parker
Photo: John Shearer/Getty Images (Getty Images)

SOMEONE ACTUALLY READ THE ASSIGNMENT. We love a big-ass bustle!!!

Laura Harrier

Laura Harrier
Photo: John Shearer/Getty Images (Getty Images)

Too busy gawking to share anything eloquent. A vision.

Venus Williams

Venus Williams
Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty Images (Getty Images)

I mean yeah, she looks like a boss, though I’m not sure if it’s an 1800s boss??

Mindy Kaling

Mindy Kaling
Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue (Getty Images)

Gorgeous, gorgeous... Greek goddess? Did not understand the assignment, but looks great.

Janelle Monáe

Janelle Monáe
Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images (Getty Images)

Is it possible to look absolutely stunning while also looking like a gilded-era cheshire cat?

Camila Mendes

Camila Mendes
Photo: Kevin Mazur/MG22/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue (Getty Images)

This is clearly flapper-inspired (which is the wrong era), but I’m letting it slide because she looks gorgeous. I’m ready to steal those perfect little sheer gloves off of her body.

Maude Apatow

Maude Apatow
Photo: Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic (Getty Images)

This is more old Hollywood glamour than anything close to the Gilded Age. I’m personally annoyed that her stylist didn’t use this as an opportunity to put her in something fun or daring or remotely interesting.

Tommy Dorfman

Tommy Dorfman
Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue (Getty Images)

If she showed up at a debutante ball, you KNOW the girls would be shaking. 10/10 for the latex twist.

Shawn Mendes

Shawn Mendes
Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images (Getty Images)

It’s giving very literal Prince Charming.

Ashton Sanders

Ashton Sanders
Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty Images) (Getty Images)

Haunted zombie prince gets a gold star for creativity because, yes, this event is absolutely haunted by living ghouls.

Kacey Musgraves

Kacey Musgraves
Photo: John Shearer/Getty Images (Getty Images)

“Dahhhling, it’s rather hot in here, and I do think the skeletons have been grabbing at my petticoat again.”

Kaia Gerber

Kaia Gerber
Photo: Getty (Getty Images)

I find this dress to be like a golden retriever: darling, but a bit basic.

Amy Schumer

Amy Schumer
Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty Images (Getty Images)

“Hungover at a funeral” is a choice.

Ryan Reynolds

Ryan Reynolds
Photo: Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic (Getty Images)

The attire was “white tie,” so he gave us a white bow tie and potentially a pocket watch? Mister Creative Advertising Genius couldn’t think of anything else? You’re really going to stand next to Blake Fucking Lively in plain-ass coattails?

Franklin Leonard

Franklin Leonard
Photo: Kevin Mazur/MG22/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue (Getty Images)

MORE. MEN. IN. BUSTLES.

Emma Chamberlain

Emma Chamberlain
Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images (Getty Images)

WHO INVITED AN INFLUENCER TO THE MET GALA? Just kidding, Emma is high-fashion royalty amongst the content creators. While I’m picking up the puff sleeve allusion, I’m getting more white puff pastry than extraordinarily gilded.

Vanessa Hudgens

Vanessa Hudgens
Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty Images (Getty Images)

I, too, Googled “how to look chic,” and this pose popped up. This sheer take on Bridgerton attire is kinda edgy, I just wish it was on someone else.

Anna Wintour

Anna Wintour
Photo: Getty Images (Getty Images)

Why am I screaming that she’s in a fucking tiara?! I can’t even look at this flamingo nonsense. I’m distracted by her crown. Is she wearing it ironically or un-ironically, in which case I am spitting out my drink cackling??

La La Anthony

La La Anthony
Image: Mike Coppola/Getty Images (Getty Images)

Hat game is perfect, a fantastic bird poop blocker. No notes.

Wendi Murdoch

Wendi Murdoch
Photo: Theo Wargo/WireImage (Getty Images)

Not Rupert Murdoch’s ex-wife looking like the down feathers my cat keeps clawing out of my throw pillows, or a matted Muppet that got caught in the rain.

Melissa King

Melissa King
Photo: Theo Wargo/WireImage (Getty Images)

These accessories are ornate camp straight off the Game of Thrones set.

Autumn de Wilde

Autumn de Wilde
Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue (Getty Images)

Ma’am, no. Why did you draw inspiration from the VHS cover of Cinderella?

Janicza Bravo

Janicza Bravo
Photo: Getty Images (Getty Images)

Bravo to Bravo! Someone get these gold plated toes up on WikiFeet immediately.

Paapa Essiedu

Paapa Essiedu
Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images (Getty Images)

Paapa looks pretty fly, honestly. We dig a man in a skirt.

Harris Dickinson

Harris Dickinson
Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images (Getty Images)

Less gilded, more sad repressed altar boy?

Elizabeth Shaffer

Elizabeth Shaffer
Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images (Getty Images)

Normally I wouldn’t even bother with Anna Wintour’s daughter-in-law, but guys, please, enough with the bows. It wasn’t cool when Amy Schumer did it, and it’s certainly not cool now. I don’t even care if your bows are some meta commentary on the way society constricts women’s rights—leave them at home!

 
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