Mystery Buyer Wants Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Off The Internet

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Gee, hmm, who could possibly be the “mystery buyer” trying to get the Kim Kardashian sex tape off of the market? Which is like trying to get toothpaste back in the tube? At the price of $30 million? On the one hand, now that she’s married, it makes sense that KK wouldn’t want folks watching footage of her sucking Ray J‘s dick and getting banged from behind. The past is the past! On the other hand, the video was part of the formula that made her famous. Of course, there’s always the possibility that KK is not the mystery buyer, and that someone else wants to remove the tape from the market… And! It’s entirely possible that there is no mystery buyer and Vivid is boosting sales (and clicks) by spreading a fake story in the wake of the lavish wedding. Slut-shaming is lucrative. [TMZ, TMZ]

Aww: Kim Kardashian gave herself a $450,000 wedding present: A white Ferrari. [Radar]

Prince Harry danced on a table and then jumped into a pool fully-clothed while partying in a Croatian nightclub. As you can tell from the photographs at the link, his dripping wet clothes did not slow him down one bit — he continued to dance, and then left the establishment with two ladies on his arm. [Daily Mail]

So yeah, I have been on vacation, but let us thank the mighty lord Zeus I am back today to see this: A digital image of what Beyoncé and Jay-Z‘s kid might look like. “If I Were A Boy!” [Bossip via TMZ]
BTW: Beyoncé‘s pregnancy announcement broke Twitter records, resulting in 8,868 Tweets per second. [Us Magazine]

Darryl Hannah — described in the linked article as “much-arrested” — was handcuffed and taken away from the White House yesterday afternoon. She was part of a group protesting the unbuilt Keystone XL oil pipeline and stated: “Sometimes it’s necessary to sacrifice your freedom for a greater freedom. And we want to be free from the horrible death and destruction that fossil fuels cause, and have a clean energy future.” She ended with, “Aiiiiieeeiiiiaaaiiiaaeeee,” because she is a mermaid. [NBC Washington, TMZ]

  • Blake and Leo‘s jet-set relationship continues: She flew to Australia for a romantic dinner with Arnie Grape over the weekend, and is already back in New York working on Gossip Girl. [Us Magazine]
  • Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel rode bikes together in Toronto. Maybe he is backpedaling on the breakup? Heh. [Us Magazine]
  • Ryan Reynolds rode his motorcycle over to Sandra Bullock‘s house and you know what that means. [Daily Mail]
  • Lady Gaga wore a prosthetic penis at VMAs. Little monster in her pants.” [US Magazine]
  • Speaking of penises: Chaz Bono wants one. “I’m on hormones and I’ve had a hysterectomy and I’ve had my top surgery, and I’m still at this point researching all the information about bottom surgery… I’d like to have a penis.” [Radar]
  • This year’s photograph of Angelina Jolie on the cover of Vanity Fair is soooo much better that that terrifying 2008 photo. [Vanity Fair]
  • You guys, I don’t know what I like better: Zahara Jolie-Pitt‘s little natural ‘do or Pax Jolie-Pitt‘s mesmerizing shiny shiny hair. Shiny! [Us Magazine]
  • Justin Bieber was driving a Ferrari in Los Angeles when he was tapped by a Honda. Everyone is fine, except for those people whose brains are exploding over Justin Bieber driving a Ferrari. [TMZ]
  • Let’s just say you were in the audience at the VMAs when Chris Brown‘s $22,000 Rolex accidentally slipped off of his wrist and fell at your feet. Would you return it? [TMZ]
  • Robert Downey Jr.‘s wife is pregnant. This will be their first child together, but RDJ has a dreamy 18-year-old son named Indio. [Radar]
  • Uh, some dudes smoked Tupac‘s ashes. Allegedly. [TMZ]
  • Cue the flippy-floppies. Grab the nautical-themed pashmina afghan. George Clooney, Marisa Tomei and Evan Rachel Wood are on a boat. [People]
  • George Clooney just finished up a motorcycle “man-cation” with Bono and Rande Gerber. [Page Six]
  • Jay-Z and Lil Wayne are beefing. Or not. [Page Six]
  • Depending on various reports, T.I. will be released from federal prison today — a month earlier than expected — or he won’t be out until September 29. [Hip Hop Wired, MTV]
  • This just in: T.I. is out of the clink. [TMZ]
  • The new James Bond film will be called Carte Blanche and set in Serbia. [Bleeding Cool]
  • And now, Jennifer Aniston tells us why she’s worn the same bikini for years: “I’ll wear it for as many years as the strings still tie! Bathing suits now have so much hardware on them that they singe your skin. When you take your bikini off, it looks like you’ve been branded with crop circles and lightning bolts and words like Gucci!” [Us Magazine via Glamour Magazine]
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