In case you’re concerned that reading Zimmer’s piece – which should really be filed in the New York Times “After Dark” section – might get you too excited or you know the firewall at your work is a little stringent, here’s the juicy stuff:
- “bird penises have evolved to spectacular lengths”
- “corkscrew-shaped penises that can grow as long as their entire body”
- “baroque genitalia to deliver sperm to female reproductive tracts that are also corkscrew-shaped — but twisted in the opposite direction”
- “the penis simply vanished”
- “The mystery of the vanishing bird penis is actually an important question”
- “To mate, a male bird presses his cloaca against a female’s, so that his sperm can flow into her body”
- “Scientists have a poetic name for this act: the cloacal kiss”
- “genital tubercle”
- “the tubercle continued to grow until it became a full-fledged penis”
- “tubercle”
- “cells at the tip of the tubercle”
- “withered vestiges”
- “resurrected the bird penis”
- “bird penises may have started to shrink as a side effect of some other evolutionary change”
- “stunted the penis”
- “male birds with smaller penises had more offspring than other birds”
- “smaller penises were less likely to acquire sexually transmitted diseases”
- “smaller penises were lighter, and thus made flying easier”
- “more than one way to lose the penis”
- “bird genitalia expert”
- “malformed penises”
- “assemble penises”
- “penises that self-destruct”
Additionally, I’d just like to note that when I opened this article, this was the rollover ad:
Each whale makes an appropriate whale noise.
The Sex Life of Birds, and Why It’s Important [NYT]
Image via Sam Greenwood/Getty.