Noted Penis Scribbler Perez Hilton To Launch Family-Oriented Site


Perez Hilton — the man who catapulted to fame by calling then-15-year-old Miley Cyrus a whore and a slut and erroneously announced the death of Fidel Castro — is launching a new website,, which will focus on celebrity families and kids.

According to Reuters, Perez (né Mario Lavandeira), says:

“It’s very exciting because it’s just another example of how celebrity news doesn’t need to be negative. People love babies and children and pregnancies. People love weddings; people love new couples. It’s not just about train wrecks and out-of-control celebrities.”

Lavandeira became famous (and rich!) writing negative, nasty commentary about celebrities, especially women, and often women under the age of 18. Some highlowlights:

When Miley was 15:

“Miley sure loves lifting up her shirts and skirts. Slut!”

The same year, when Miley was 15, Perez also said Rachel Zoe’s face was “tighter than Hannah Montana’s anus.”

When Rumer was 19 or 20, Lavandeira nicknamed her “Potatohead” and urged her to consult with a cosmetic surgeon:

Rumer Willis… isn’t there surgery where you can shave down your jaw???
We’re sure some trannys have gotten it done to make themselves look more “feminine.”
Plastic surgery is not always a bad thing.
Rumer should look into it!
And, while she’s there, she might wanna get her nose done too!

He also mocked Samantha Ronson, who is gay, for not being pretty or feminine:

What An Ugly Bitch! And we don’t mean the dog! Everybody’s favorite fug bitch, saMAN Ronson walked her infinitely cuter pooch, Wednesday in Los Angeles.

In addition, for years, Lavandeira also participated in a “gay witch hunt,” attempting to out celebrities as gay.

But, in October 2010, Lavandeira decided to change, saying, “I can’t stop justifying my behavior. I was 26 when I started blogging. I’m almost 33 now. Time to grow up!” He created a video, mentioning gay suicides and bullying and declaring that he needed to “be the solution and not part of the problem.” (He also said, “I don’t see myself as a bully.” And claimed that his website was “comedy.”) He decided to stop calling Jennifer Aniston “Maniston” and Rumer Willis “Potatohead.” Of course, in many ways, it was too late; in June 2008, was getting 268.9 million pageviews. Traffic has been down lately, but he still has a predomininately female audience, and they know all about his love of the word “whoreanus.”

And now! With Perezitos, the man who spent years being a misogynist, semen-scrawler, and name-caller will be covering kids on a regular basis:

“I’m definitely mindful of respecting celebrities and their children and I’ve definitely, in the past when I was working on the main site, made mistakes in covering celebrities and their children.”

But don’t fret: It’s not like Lavandeira is going to start being altruistic or something. It’s still all about Perez and how he feels. “You have the ability to change your actions and change your future, and I’m so much happier now in the direction that I’m heading.” As long as you’re happy. That’s all that matters.

Perez Hilton Launches Celebrity Family Website [Reuters]

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