Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr Split: Sad Day for Pretty People

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Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr have separated after three years of marriage (and six years of being together). As someone who used to own a life-sized cardboard cutout of Legolas, I am sad that their love is no longer but also free this weekend if Orlando Bloom is interested.

A rep for Bloom confirms this, stating that the couple has been amicably separated for months and have recently decided to formalize it. “Despite this being the end of their marriage,” reads a statement that the two released together, “they love, support and respect each other as both parents of their son and as a family.” If the most graceful of elves and a Victoria’s Secret angel can’t make it work, is there any hope for the rest of us? Sigh. [NY Daily News]

Professional selfie-taker and part-time Teen Trainwreck Kylie Jenner stormed out of a Beverly Hills Hotel after being refused bottle service, decreeing that the place was “fucking lame.” Before doing so, she reportedly asked an employee, “Do you know who I am?”, which is the #1 best angry famous person catch phrase of all time.

According to the source, “She was a complete nightmare. She started out really nice, but when she didn’t get what she wanted, it was like someone flipped a switch.” In her defense, she was with a crowd of people that included Jaden Smith and I would probably act the same if someone prevented me from making Jaden Smith feel content. [NY Daily News]

This is really sad: Mary McCormack — the wife of Smash director Michael Morris who was recently photographed kissing Katharine McPhee — was apparently shocked to find out about the relationship. She and Morris had been married for 10 years and have three daughters together.

According to a source, “she is beyond furious and absolutely devastated.” Morris is reportedly trying to make things work, but it seems likely that McCormack will split up with him. Really, really awful. [Life & Style]

  • Lamar Odom is focused on getting his career back on track; he’s been sober for over two weeks and is in constant contact with Khloe Kardashian. Who knows if that’s true, but one can hope! I will always like Lamar and Khloe, even though she said her wedding vows in a sexy baby voice. [E!]
  • Lena Dunham hung out with Anna Wintour and Anna Wintour made, like, a quarter of a grin in a photo. VOGUE COVER FORTHCOMING FOR SURE. [HuffPo]
  • Rose McGowan‘s wedding looks like it was very beautiful and fancy. [E!]
  • Prince George behaved very well while his parents put him in a giant dress and dumped water on him. [E!]
  • Are Kris Jenner and former Bachelor Ben Flajnik dating? Or do they just share a wig person? [NY Daily News]
  • Jay-Z is getting pressured on Twitter to end his collaboration with Barneys, because Barneys is racist and gross. [NY Daily News]
  • Lady Gaga wore a moustache and put on a fake German accent while answering fan questions about her song “Gypsy,” which is a racial slur. OMG GAGA U R SO ARTISTIC/CONTROVERSIAL!! [MTV]
  • The National Enquirer is spreading lies about Brad Pitt smelling bad, which is ridiculous because he was in all those stellar perfume commercials. [ONTD]
  • Audrina Patridge JUST learned about Lauren Conrad‘s engagement, proving once and for all that she exists in another dimension that we shall never be able to comprehend. In this other dimension, all men look like Justin Bobby. [Perez Hilton]
  • More speculation in the saga that is Jamie Foxx and Katie Holmes‘ alleged hook-up. We may never know the truth. [Perez Hilton]
  • Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are getting a prenup, which makes sense because they are both very obsessed with wealth. Also one time Kanye wrote a famous rap about the necessity of a prenup. [TMZ]
  • P. Diddy was a lil bit drunk on TV, but he was very charming and well-spoken. He talked about his plan to be the first black owner of an NFL team and then cackled a lot. [E!]
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