Passive-Aggressive Gifts for Your Horrible Mother-in-Law

Latest

You don’t get to choose your family. And so sometimes we wind up in families with people who are…less than choose-worthy. Then again, a lot of people have a lot of mother-in-laws that they like a lot! Because mother-in-laws are a lot like people (some legends hold that they actually are people!!!), which means that some of them are awesome, some of them are mean, and most of them are somewhere in-between. But anyway, if you’re stuck with the kind of mother-in-law who isn’t so nice, here are some ideas to keep the peace (and maybe stick it to her just a little bit) this holiday season.


Full-Spectrum Lamp This might be total horseshit (in which case, maybe you have the type of MIL who loves debunking horseshit!), but people swear that these full-spectrum lamps can work wonders for your mood. So if you’re plagued by a MIL who seems eternally pissed-off, maybe her lampage just isn’t spectrummy enough. Worth a shot. If this hilarious product photo is any indication, this particular full-spectrum desk lamp is comically large and will levitate near your head while you’re doing impractical beach reading on the world’s shoddiest dock. Score! $38.99, Verilux.


Wrinkle Cream See, she can’t be mad, because it’s really nice wrinkle cream! $36, Kiehl’s.


Stylish Pill Box Nana, did you take your pills today? She won’t be able to resist when they come in something SO ADORABLE. This pill box is cute, compact, and doesn’t just hold pills—it also offers sage advice. Keep calm and take your pills. $10, Etsy.


Toe Warmers Maybe if she’s nicer to you this year, next Christmas she’ll get an entire sock. $9, Etsy. Priceless, Regretsy.


A Delicious Can of Peanut Brittle Mmmmmmmmmm!!! A classic snack! It’s just a delicious, totally innocuous, and 100% non-snake-filled can of peanut brittle! Everyone loves peanut brittle. Open it. Aren’t you hungry? Oooooopen iiiiiiiiiit. $11.99, eTrickShop.


When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives

😐

$10.20, Amazon.


Christmas Sweaters for Wine Bottles IT’S MY MEDICINE. I NEED IT. SOMEONE BRING ME MY MEDICINE. Oh—lookhhh! My medicine ish all dresshed up like a funny little man. Give mama a mouth-hug, little medicine Chrishtmash man. $12, Sur La Table.


Mustache Waxing Kit You know. For your mustache. $5.99, Walgreens.


Funeral Home Cologne Spray This elegant cologne “is a blend of classic white flowers: lilies, carnations, gladiolus, chrysanthemums with stems and leaves, with a hint of mahogany and oriental carpet.” Enjoy it, mean grandma. It also smells like your future. $39.50, Demeter Fragrance.

 
Join the discussion...