Pick-Up Artist Asks, “ARE YOU READY TO LAY EVERY GIRL YOU MEET?”

This group of professional pick-up artists must be seen to be believed…and understood. Says one of the dudes (all of whom are congregating in a mall), “Really, I’m a Life Artist.”

For those of us who think Pick Up Artists are just suave, caddish heartbreakers — which is what these dudes seem to think we believe — well, think again. These are just sensitive men who want to be the best they can be, troubled by the their misrepresentation by “the media.” As one dude explains it, they’re just “men who decide that we’re going to be our very best at all levels.” In a mall. On a Sunday afternoon. With hair that’s a cross between “Blond on Blond”-era Dylan and a cockatiel.

At this point, the PUA community is almost too easy a target to mock — because besides everything else, it feels kind of two years ago and by now we all know what a “neg” looks like, that gambit about visualizing the crystal box, and their opener about two girls being in a fight outside. Most of us aren’t at any risk of being swept off our feet by dudes in goggles and boas with noms de guerre like “Cuisine” (yes, the actual name of one of the PUAs in this article.)

More than anything, when you read pieces like this, you just want to take the students — like Steve, the 27-year-old Middle School teacher (whose students, one hopes, are not at the mall) or 19-year-old Charlie — and tell them that this is not the way to meet women. Clearly these fellas are lacking in self-confidence and willing to shell out a lot to try to meet somebody, and believe that a costume and a few canned lines will provide an answer. That they’re being taught to objectify women is depressing, but honestly, it’s hard to believe that these pathetic approaches will be effective enough to hurt many.

To hear the PUAs tell it, though, the lifestyle can turn them into Real Men. Says one, initially, “it was a lot more about sleeping with women…now it’s about being a full and whole person.” Life: ur doin it rong.