According to one of my favorite consistently hyperbolic celebrity tabloids, Radar Online, Lori Loughlin is “pitching a prison tell-all book,” should she find herself incarcerated like fellow college admissions scandalinductee Felicity Huffman. “She’s talking to agents about turning her prison experience into a cash-grabbing book and movie,” an “insider” allegedly told Radar Online, “They’ve assured her it will make millions.” Of course it would. And of course she absolutely should write a book; I’d argue that most of us are not above reading the musings of a woman who once suggested that the $500,000 she allegedly spent to get daughters Olivia Jade and the other one into USC wasn’t “different from donating money for a library.”
Should this book come to light—and once again, I think it really might—there are a handful of questions I’d like answered in the forthcoming text. Loughlin, if you’re reading this in one of your increasingly numbered days of freedom, here they are:
Why switch to a crime visor? Were you aware that your original headwear had been dubbed a “crime hat”? And why commit to the visor multiple times? Where are you going? Why are you hiding?
