It’s been a long day, but hopefully today’s best comments will soothe your jangled nerves!
Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Pampers And Cynthia Rowley Create Truly Designer Diapers:
There once was a babe in madras
With ruffles all over her ass.
They cost her mum lots,
More than most new mums gots.
But my, she was one stylish lass!!
Parents are a strange sub-set of our species,
With their Aiden’s and Caiden’s and Phoebe’s,
They can pamper his rump,
but when their kid takes a dump,
He’s still going to be sitting in feces.
• Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Britney Accused Of Abusing Her Sons: “I now understand why Facebook is so greedy about removing privacy from my mundane likes and activities: Bono.
Bono and I are in an interrogation room. He’s holding a large stack of printouts of my news feed. He throws the down on the table. “It says right here, that on June 23, 2010, you spent $50 on a pair of new shoes!”
“I needed them for work!” I cry.
“Some people would like to work. Some people in Africa would like shoes. You didn’t even buy TOM’s shoes, did you?”
“They’re uncomfortable! I apologize! Please, just let me go!”
“Oh you can go,” he says sinisterly, “You can go anytime you’d like, as long as you do your part. I have an organization here that needs some AIDS meds. You do have your credit card, right?”
“That’s extortion! You can’t do that!”
“I can do whatever I want, I’m Bono!” he screams, sweeping his arm across the table, sending my most mundane activites flying all over the room, “Now what’s it going to be, huh?”
“I…uh…”
He picks a piece of paper off the floor. “Let’s examine this again,” he says with a smirk, “In October of 2009, you spent $100 at a karaoke bar? Did you donate to charity that month? Did you even write your congressperson a letter?”
“It was my friend’s birthday! I’m…I’m so sorry.” I begin to sob.
“You feel ashamed of yourself yet? You ready to talk about a deal? Because I’ve got you on gross uncaring, lady. You can spend ten to twenty in your head feeling guilty, or you can pull out your checkbook and we’ll make this all go away.”
“I…I…how much?”
“$50, plus an impassioned blog article about the IMF. And three links to actual news on your Facebook.”
“Okay, I’ll do it! Just leave me alone!” I am a broken woman.
“That’s right you’ll do it,” he says, “I’m Bono, dammit. I’m here to save the world.”
And…scene. •
Reminder: If you see a great, funny, insightful, eloquent (or awful) comment, nominate it! Email the comment and the timestamp link to the left of the comment to Hortense at [email protected].
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