Lloyd! Get Robert Iger from Disney on the horn. Pronto. Hollywood may be out of ideas, but the best comment of the day should get greenlit, along with a three-picture deal and a Sundance festival:
Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Live-Action Tinker Bell Movie To Sprinkle Pixie Dust In Theaters:
I have a feeling this’ll be about Tink hitting her mid 30s and finally getting rid of the boy who wouldn’t grow up and striking out on her own (read: moving to Manhattan, the universal symbol for striking out on your own) and using her pixie dust to improve her own life.
I always wished Wendy and Tink could have a sit down. Like, Tink comes back to the hideout to pick up some of her stuff and finds Wendy there, abandoned and cleaning up after another all night gaming session had by Peter and his stupid Lost Boy friends, and she’s like you know what Wendy? I have misplaced my anger. It’s not about you. It’s not even about Tiger Lily. It’s about that jackass, Peter. Put down the Pledge. PUT DOWN THE PLEDGE. You’re only 14, you’re nobody’s mom, from the little I saw of you back at your parents’ place they were really just two personality disorders rather than actual parents so of course you and the dog were forced to fill in even though it was inappropriate for the both of you, but that is no reason for you to continue on in this fashion. I’ve got my own treehouse now, so how about you come and stay with me. Screw Peter Pan. We do not need his shit.
I admit I once wrote this up as a sketch because I imagined Amy Poehler as Tink in this scenario.
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