Should You Get Bangs? NO.
In Depth

With Kate Middleton’s recent destruction of her wonderful, perfect hair, we have yet another example of why bangs are the scourge of humanity. Look, I get the impulse. You want to do something different with your hair! But you don’t want to cut it all off, and good highlights are expensive, plus all of that bleaching can destroy your hair and feel so permanent. So you think: “Oh, I know! I’ll get bangs.” I am here to tell you: NO. Do not get bangs. They won’t look good on you, they’ll drive you crazy, they look good on virtually no one, don’t do it.
“But me! Bangs will look good on me!” you say. No, no they won’t. Not even Michelle Obama, acknowledged Best Lady in All of America, could pull off bangs, so what makes you think you can? (Michelle is totally going to text Kate in a few weeks all, “Hey Duchess, I know what you’re going through. Let me know if you need tips or just a shoulder to cry on while you deal with this fiasco.”)
Bangs cut off your face, your wonderful, beautiful face, and make you look childlike and sad, all at the same time. They won’t flatter your best features, and if your goal for them is to hide your bad ones? Nope, that’s not happening either. Bangs make your forehead break out, which makes you try to hide your forehead with more bangs, which makes it even worse. Bangs often hide your eyes (which are lovely) and emphasize your nose, which throws all of the proportions of your face out of whack. And if you hate your forehead? Stop that, your forehead is great! If your goal is to de-emphasize how big it is (it isn’t too big, it’s fine) or just to add something new, some nice layers in the front are great! Do a nice sideswiped thing. That looks good on everyone, and is easily tucked away or brushed back. But bangs? No. Just don’t do it.
Aside from what they do to your face, bangs just look bad. They’re an adult version of a bowl cut in the front, no matter how long the rest of your hair is. Bangs manage to look frizzy and flat at the same time, even when the rest of your hair looks fine. Do you have curly hair? Oh God, that’s even worse. You’ll have to blow dry your bangs straight even when your hair dries naturally, or you’ll just have a puff ball sitting at the top of your forehead sticking straight in the air. In the summertime, or any other time you are likely to sweat, they’ll get stringy and damp and stick to your forehead (or stick straight up in the air).