My family is not a Christmas family, preferring to use the holiday as a nice time to sit in the living room reading quietly for hours at a time. We eat food, but it is not traditionally “Christmas” food—likely because Christmas isn’t a holiday that is generally associated with food and also because it seems that Christmas food sucks.
When hard-pressed to think of foods that are traditionally associated with Christmas, I was forced to turn to my colleagues for assistance. Here’s what we came up with, and here is what I think of these foods.
1. Goose
A vague and likely shoddy memory of Charles Dickens’s classic A Christmas Carol comes to mind: didn’t they eat goose? Wasn’t there a goose on the table at the end, after the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future are gone, and Tiny Tim is no longer whining about whatever it is he was upset about and Scrooge is nice again? I’ve never had goose, but I do love duck. Ducks are, in general, kinder than geese, who are terrifying creatures that will attack you at a moment’s notice. I’d rather eat a duck than a goose, whose flesh is likely gamy in a way that is unappealing and also tough. Geese spend half their lives shitting on large expanses of grass and chasing children who lurk at the corners of duck ponds. They are buff birds, their meat is stringy, fibrous, not tender. NO thank you.
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