Spy Skivvies Track Your Underwhereabouts


Are you a jerk who doesn’t trust women? Do you have a wife, girlfriend, partner, or daughter who will wear ugly underwear that you give her as a present with no questions asked? Do I have the product for you!

Forget-me-not panties purport to help men with communication problems, trust issues, and no respect for the individuality of the women in their lives spy on the objects of their fixation using a censor embedded in the garment. The Privates Eye Panties then send information from that censor- including GPS location and body temperature- to the woman’s owner overbearing male companion/ultra creepy dad.

According to the product site,

These panties can give you her location, and even her temperature and heart rate, and she will never even know it’s there! Unlike the cumbersome and uncomfortable chastity belts of the past, these panties are 100% cotton, and use cutting-edge technology to help you protect what matters most.

I bet men who buy these also call women “females.”

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