Teenager Disappointed Beyoncé Didn't Greet Him After Dental Surgery

A good way to tell if your loved ones really care about you is whether or not they film the funny shit you say when coming down from anesthesia and put it on the Internet.

A video posted by the YouTube account Phil Owens shows the ramblings of a young man after a dental procedure. Filmed by his mother, with a mouthful of blood and gauze, our young friend asks a question that I have uttered many times completely sober: “Where’s Beyoncé?”

His mother gently informs him that: “Beyoncé couldn’t make it,” and this poor doped up soul wails: “She promised she’d be here.”

Then with the same intensity I imagine I would feel if ever wronged by Beyoncé, he moans: “She lied to me.”

Stifling laughter, his mother tries to soothe him by offering to call Beyoncé when they get home so she can hopefully offer a valid explanation as to why she wasn’t there to greet this random kid after his dental surgery.

He then asks to go look for Beyoncé in Africa, which, oof, but then again, this poor guy also thought the dentist had removed his heart instead of his teeth.

I choose to see this video as proof that the cure for many of us during our times of need is Beyonce’s presence. Let this also serve as a not-so-gentle reminder to my friends and family that if anyone ever films me after surgery and puts it on the Internet, I will kill you dead.

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