I used to think I was a pretty dope kid because I wrote a series of dope-ass short stories about a girl who suddenly woke up as a millionaire and had to spend it all.* Well, I was wrong, and you’re wrong about how special and great you were, because 10-year-old Evan from Philadelphia is the World’s Best Kid. Someone call Guinness, let’s get this locked down.
It all started in 2009 when then 7-year-old Evan adopted a cat, Macha, from local rescue group City Kitties and wanted to help other strays. He sent $46.75 of his hard-earned allowance money (I’m guessing, he could be the hella rich founder of a start-up, he’s about the right age) and a handwritten note that read:
Dear City Kitties,
My name is Evan. I am 7 years old. And guess what? … I LOVE cats! They are my favorite animals and I got my cat at City Kitties as well! THANK YOU for letting me get my new cat! Thank you, City Kitties.
Sincerely,
Evan
P.S. I get an allowance every week and I chose to make a donation to you. I love that you help cats find homes. I saved this money to help you help cats.
CAN YOU EVEN?? If it weren’t several shades and depths of illegal, I’d already have forced his parent to let me marry him when he’s of age and I’m even older and creepier.
Even better, Evan’s letters and donations keep coming year after year, and in 2012, he broke into the triple digits with a $110 contribution. That’s meowvelous**! And yes, Evan, your cursive is amazing, and so are you. May all good come your way and I lift my hands in prayer that you may grow up to become President of the Universe and replace us all with cats. Good luck and God Speed, young sir.
*They were called “The Accidental Millionaires” and were heavily inspired by my constant re-watching of the movie Brewster’s Millions.
** ???