It Was Not the Beyoncé National Convention

America has a problem. The singer was never scheduled to perform at the DNC last night.

By Kady Ruth Ashcraft  |  August 23, 2024 | 9:59am
CelebritiesDirt Bag Democratic National Convention
It Was Not the Beyoncé National Convention

During the final night of the Democratic National Convention, shortly before Kamala Harris accepted the presidential nomination, a lot of viewers and attendees were feeling a little crazy in love… And not just because they were high on Dem mania. Rather: A rumor started either on the ground or on Twitter (our finest investigators are still looking into it)—and falsely confirmed by TMZ—purported that Beyoncé would be closing out the four-night event in Chicago.

Instead of libbing out to Queen Bey gracing the stage of the United Center, all we got was a closing benediction and the sound of one million balloons popping. Best thing we never had…

The rumor seems to have picked up steam online thanks to a now-deleted tweet by @Angry_Staffer, who, it is safe to assume, is not a high-ranking official in the planning process for the event. It read, “I’ve been sworn to secrecy, but you don’t want to miss the DNC tonight. If you thought the Oprah surprise was big, just wait.” Intriguing yes, but when another user asked if it would be 99-year old hospice patient and former president Jimmy Carter, @Angry_Staffer replied that they didn’t think it was him, but that it would be someone “cool.” Never have I believed that the Democratic Party really is a “big tent” more than when I learn what other party voters think of as “cool.”

Immediately folks started guessing Taylor Swift or Beyoncé, the latter of which got a legitimacy boost when White House Director of Political Strategy Emmy Ruiz tweeted out the bee emoji, aka the Beyoncé bat signal. She later followed up to that tweet claiming (joking?) that her 6-year-old had taken her phone. Breach in pop-culture security alert!!!! 

The Beyoncé rumor officially graduated from the Twitter discourse and onto the consistently reputable gossip site TMZ. (I’m being serious! They usually really do their homework!) But The Hollywood Reporter had the final word, confirming that the singer was “never scheduled to attend” the DNC. Even then, some Twitter users wondered if there would be a pre-recorded appearance. (There was not.) Beyoncé’s publicist, Yvette Noel Schure wrote in an Instagram post, “Focus on the win and register to vote. Do not report rumors. FOCUS 🇺🇸.” To which I respectfully say: Ma’am, a bunch of libbed up Bey-hive members are not gonna be able to focus in this moment, everyone is losing their minds.

Alas, there was no Beyoncé concert or video or Taylor Swift endorsement. All we had was P!nk, Amanda Gorman, and mass delusion. Consider our souls broken.

  • Thoughts, prayers, and a lot of burning sage for Guillermo del Toro who is currently staying in a haunted hotel in Scotland. [Twitter]
  • Jennifer Lopez Affleck, we hardly knew ye. J.Lo has officially dropped Ben‘s last name. [Page Six]
  • Meryl Streep and Martin Short held hands at the Only Murders In the Building premiere. [Us Weekly]
  • We’ll be seeing Judge Mathis in court… Divorce court, that is! He and his wife are separating after 39 years together. [Page Six]

 
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