The Year In Things That Are Exactly Like a $40 Spin Class

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The Year In Things That Are Exactly Like a $40 Spin Class
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SoulCycle, a company that sells pricey spin classes but purports to trade in life-altering spiritual experiences, has become the model for emerging wellness “experiences” hoping to position their rather mundane business propositions as luxury encounter groups. Founded in 2006, the company, which at its last (and later abandoned) valuation was said to be worth $900 million, has inspired a generation of companies referred to as the “Soulcycle of Cryotherapy” or the “Soulcycle of egg-freezing.” This year’s disclosure that SoulCycle president Stephen Ross hosted a fundraiser for Donald Trump inspired consumer boycotts, but has apparently done little to deter companies marketed to women from declaring themselves Soulcycle’s heirs. So here is a brief list of things that have been compared to taking Soulcycle’s $40 spin classes in 2019:

Going to a gym, getting on a treadmill, and running next to other people

Doing a “high-sensory activated dance” while connecting to “nature’s elements”

Having a baby

Meditating

Getting your nails done

Playing pick-up soccer

Wearing make-up

Putting your luggage in a locker

Smoking, fucking, and chilling

Learning how to finally, truly feel:

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