The trailer for Season 23 of The Bachelor starring The Virgin Colton Underwood (the 26-year-old retired football athlete who’s ready for love after losing it all on Becca Kufrin’s season of the Bachelorette and then again on Bachelor in Paradise with Tia Booth) is finally here.
All of the contestants are quoted as saying strange, borderline sexless things about Underwood, immediately reminding me of fan fiction written by tweens where things are about to get hot and heavy with, like, Harry Potter but it cuts directly to the “morning after” because when you’re 12 you’re unsure how to get down? Normally, this realization would be enough to keep anyone (me) entertained, but now I’m thinking… what if everyone on this season is a virgin? Like, every single contestant, and it’s a full on virgin fest?