This Week's Tabloids: Star Diagnoses Angelina's Twins With Down Syndrome
CelebritiesEvery Wednesday, we play Midweek Madness, in which we “read” the tabloids, so you don’t “have” to. This week, Star creates a “Down Syndrome Drama” for Angelina’s twins and Lady Gaga does cocaine to get ideas like “meat dress.”
Ok!
“Sisters Torn Apart By Secrets.”
This is all about Kim and Kyle Richards, sisters on The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. Their relationship has only gotten worse since the show wrapped, and things have “almost come to physical blows.” Kyle, the non-alcoholic one, gives Kim an allowance, because Kim is strapped for cash. Blah blah blah rehashed stuff from the show. Moving on: Leah from Teen Mom 2 recently married her twins’ dad, Corey. But Leah’s ex-boyfriend, Robbie, claims he slept with her hours before the wedding. MTV says that camera crews were with Leah for most of the evening — and in the morning — and “nothing happened.” Did you hear the rumor that people walked out of Katie Holmes’ movie, The Son Of No One, at Sundance? The film’s producer tells Ok! “This is an outrage, because there was no walk-out whatsoever.” And yet, there are details in here about how, toward the end of the film, there’s a title card which reads, “this was based on a true story,” and some folks at Sundance thought that was the end of the movie, even though there’s one more dramatic scene after that. And someone accidentally turned the lights on, so people did get up and leave, but it was all a misunderstanding, or something. Anyway. Right now, Katie is having “the worst time of her life,” because Anne Hathaway made fun of her on SNL , The Kennedys got booted from the History Channel, Tom has been away filming, and her former Dawson’s Creek costar, Michelle Williams, earned a second Oscar nomination. Poor Katie! Lastly, Scott “American Psycho” Disick has a ring for Kourtney Kardashian, but they are not yet engaged.
Grade: F (medical diagnosis by a brick wall)
Life & Style
“World Exclusive: Babies On The Way.”
Khloe Kardashian is not pregnant, but she wants to have a baby. Although. She isn’t going to talk about it until it happens. But! Khloe has been “following” husband Lamar Odom as he travels during the NBA season so they can be together on her fertile nights. Let’s talk about Katie Holmes for a moment. The image on the cover was so clearly cobbled together using a shot of her body and a different shot of her head. Anyway: Katie wants to have another baby, Suri would love a brother or sister and it’s hard to say no to her and so on. To be clear: Neither Katie nor Khloe is pregnant. There are, however, four pages of “Hollywood’s Baby Bump Boom,” which includes a sidebar called “Biggest Baby-Weight Gains.” Chris Pine and Laura Vandervoort are dating, not that we know who she is. Hank Baskett is a free agent in the 2011 season, so he and Kendra may move again. Teen Mom‘s Maci got a boob job and plans to write a book about, you guessed it, being a teen mom. Jessica Biel visited Neil Lane in December and has been searching for an engagement ring on her own, without Justin Timberlake. Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez were partying in Las Vegas on New Year’s and grinding together on several “hot girls.” Cammie asked one of the young ladies if she’d like to come back to the couples’ hotel room to continue the festivities! Plus, in January, while on vacay in Paris, Cameron and A-Rod were hanging out at a hotel with a “gorgeous gal,” got her drunk on champagne and Cammie invited her back to their room to “try on clothes.” Someone definitely wants you to think Cameron and A-Rod are into threesomes. Lastly: When Willow Smith joined a social networking site after her mother, Jada Pinkett Smith, told her not to, Jada asked Willow what she thought her punishment should be. Willow said, “Mom, take my computer away.” A child psychologist who has never met the family says this is appropriate parenting: “Asking kids what they think the consequence should be can be very effective.”
Grade: D- (medical diagnosis by a cat)