Too Stoned to Flirt Without Scaring People? There's a Class for That


You know when you’re stoned and you see a person you would maybe like to have sex with later and all you can say is “Heh heh, Vape Daddy had a bit too much kush with dinner” while staring at their intimate parts with your unfocused red eyes?

This totally normal, totally understandable and very cool problem is the reason why Harrison Schultz and Lorna Shannon, a couple of dating coaches (who are also a couple) who live in (where else) East Williamsburg, have started a life-educational series called Sex Ed for Stoners, the first installment of which popped off last night.

DNAInfo reports that the target audience for this class is the membership of legalize-it advocacy group Occupy Weed Street, who apparently have been making “borderline inappropriate comments or practicing poor social etiquette” and must be taught “how to navigate sex and the dating scene, as well as the line between sexual harassment and flirting.” Additionally, Schultz and Shannon want to emphasize “hitting on people outside the political group to keep members focused on the fight to legalize marijuana.” Indeed, a “grass”-roots collective action meeting where everyone shows up stoned with a to-go health plate in their backpack is not necessarily the forge in which our most electric human desires become good, strong and real. But what would I know? I have never smoked marijuana, although I do hope to try it one day.

According to DNAInfo, the class will focus on some non-stoner things (eye contact, dealing with neuroses, reading body language) as well as some just-stoner things (not immediately announcing how high you are). I hear that latter thing is physiologically impossible, so blessings be upon Sex Ed for Stoners as they do the Lord’s incredibly awkward work.

Image via Shutterstock.

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