Trader Lawsuit Reveals Secret To $13 Billion Hedge Fund Riches: Estrogen Pills, Pretty Dresses!

Context: Hedge funds, those secretive Connecticut forces that run the world/take all its money/answer to no one, are known for having a lack of females at the top. Creative solution time!

A trader is suing his former hedge fund for forcing him to scour the black market for female hormone pills in hopes they would make him a keener, more “feminine” trader but actually they just made him into a gay cross-dresser who couldn’t have sex with his wife. And seriously, I’m torn as to what to tell you next. Should I start with the fact that the hedge fund in question is SAC Capital, which regularly accounts for 3% of all the trades on the New York Stock Exchange i.e. is BIGGER THAN GOD (and more secretive than the ahem Vatican?) Or the fact that the hormone-popping boss in question lives next door to Yoko Ono? And makes an estimated $100 million a year? And that this is his secret: making men take estrogen? (Hey, interruption for a service announcement: SafeSearch on when Googling “eunuch”!) Anyway there’s more!