Trump Held $100,000-a-Plate Fundraiser to Help Out Beleaguered Buddy Rudy Giuliani

You know what they say about friends…when one’s hair dye is positively dripping over debt-inducing legal fees, fines, and damages as a result of trying to overturn a presidential election, one must simply just ignore his own collection of similar charges and hold a $100,000-a-plate fundraiser to help his boy out.

On Thursday, Donald Trump did just that for Rudy Giuliani, who’s currently facing not just a slew of racketeering charges for election interference in Georgia, but also total financial ruin. The tried and true friend that he is, Trump (who was indicted on a whole host of similar charges in August) took it upon himself to appeal to the wealthy weirdos that still support him via a little—little being the operative word here—dinner party.

At his golf club in Bedminster, New Jersey, Trump welcomed anyone willing to pay $100,000 for a plate, with the proceeds (allegedly) going to Giuliani’s legal defense. Thus far, there’s been no word as to what was served to justify that steep cost, but given Trump’s palate, I’m going to wager it was some variation of a fast food buffet—perhaps a Diet Coke fountain was also present? I get it. When there’s this much federal crime on the table, best to just keep it simple and serve McDonald’s fries.

So, just how much money did this fête actually make? Reportedly, somewhere around $1 million…meaning about 10 individuals showed up. Pitiful. It’s like no one wants to help putrefying perverts anymore! Giuliani’s son, Andrew, doesn’t sound particularly heartened by it either.

Though he called the measly million “helpful,” Andrew told WABC radio that “it won’t be enough to get through this.” Yeah, I’d imagine it’s a real bummer when no one wants to help dear old decaying dad—especially when he’s also been confronted with a pesky lawsuit wherein a former assistant accused him of rape, sexual abuse, withholding millions in wages, and soliciting her help to peddle presidential pardons. Oh, then there are the fees from that lost defamation suit, too…

Oh well! Apparently, Trump has already committed to hosting a second fundraiser for Giuliani at his Mar-a-Lago estate. To quote Giuliani’s lawyer, Brian Tevis, “They’re going to need it.”