What Secret Is Barry Keoghan Hiding in His New Hair?

The Internet turned heads Wednesday night when photos dropped of Barry Keoghan at the Crime 101 premiere in London, sporting what appeared to be multiple wigs stacked together and glued onto his head. But plot twist: it was actually just… his real hair. Yes, *presses finger to ear,* Sources are now confirming to me that it was, indeed, his real hair.

With that much hair, you have to wonder: what is he hiding? Is it extra cushioning? UV protection? Is there a tinfoil hat under there? What. Is. He. Hiding.

Joking aside, my first thought was actually, I guess Sabrina Carpenter is winning the breakup. (The pair called it off last year after a year of dating amid rumors he cheated on her.) But then I remembered, as one does, the Beatles. This is Keoghan’s transformation into the legendary Ringo Starr.

In March, it was confirmed that he’d won the role in Sam Mendes’s four-film Beatles biopic, alongside Paul Mescal, Harris Dickinson, and Joseph Quinn. Yes, that’s right: four films! From what I understand, each band member will get their own interwoven movie. But I think we all know the real reason: four films = four times the profit.

That being said, Barry, buddy—wigs are in the budget. You don’t have to do this. And people were quick to point out that it was giving less mop-top and more One Direction member, circa 2010.

But no, I guess we’ll be seeing this ‘do throughout the filming of four (!) movies. And now I’m mad about another thing. STOP MAKING MUSICIAN BIOPICS.

I’ve thought this for a while, but I finally feel safe enough to speak my truth: the musician biopic trend of the last decade has produced some of the most derivative, cash-grab slop to ever grace cinemas. Just watch documentaries. Watch concert films. There are so many real options.

Freddie Mercury. Bob Dylan. Bruce Springsteen. Elton John. And now the Beatles. Make it stop. I’m sorry, Barry, but this is one film category I think should be permanently removed from awards contention. Just take your cash and go.

Also, I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m coming for Barry’s neck. I do think he’s a great actor, but… have you listened to Sabrina’s album? That boy is a manchiiiiiiild.

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• Emerald Fennel is teasing a kinky scene involving a rock in Wuthering Heights…[Variety]
• Kendall Jenner FaceTimed Tom Brady on The Tonight Show to ask who he thought would win the Super Bowl. [The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon]
• Odessa A’zion drops out of an A24 film after fans point out her character is supposed to be Mexican. “I hadn’t read the book,” she said. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Paul Dano breaks silence on diss from Quentin Tarantino. [Variety]
• Well, now we know why Megan Markle had those photos at Kris Kardashian’s birthday party removed. [People]

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