It may cause a reaction like this to hear, but there’s talk Kris Humphries was not Kim Kardashian‘s first choice of trophy husband. Word on the street is that E! executives approached Danilo Gallinari of the Knicks to see if he wanted to start dating her ahead of the Kourtney & Kim Take New York debut – promising him fun things like intense media scrutiny. He apparently agreed to meet her but said no to TV, so they dumped him as an option and started trawling through the New Jersey Nets line-up. Kim and Kris married nine months later. But just because there’s a possibility it was an arranged marriage doesn’t mean it can’t blossom into one of the most enduring showmances of our time, right? Call me a romantic, but just look at what John Travolta and Kelly Preston have achieved. [Wetpaint, Radar]
The ever-reliable Michael Lohan found his way to the nearest camera to tell his side of the story regarding allegations of domestic abuse from Kate Major. Clearly distressed that his legions of fans thought he threw a channel changer at her, he was keen to set the record straight: “I took the phone out of Kate’s hand and threw it.” Claiming she fabricated the story to earn tabloid money to pay for phone bills, he added that he’s not so silly to risk getting hurt in an attack. “I have a boxing match coming up,” he said. “I would never hurt myself because of her.” You read that correctly, a boxing match. You can’t make this shit up! [NYDN]
The judge also warned Michael: “You even dream of her and you’re going to jail.” [Radar]
But Lohan decided to go one better — and get arrested all over again — by contacting Kate, which is a direct violation of the protective order against him. And then tried to escape before falling into a tree. [TMZ]
Apparently Lindsay Lohan is doing the Playboy shoot for the money. Who’d a thunk it? [Radar]
If she still needs a little lunch money, Linds can probably eBay some of her thousand-dollar purses. [Radar]
Her upcoming spread is getting attention from all the wrong publicity seekers, with adult toy company Fleshlight asking to mold her lady parts so they can release “authentic” Lindsay sex toys. [TMZ]
It’s not all bad, however. Girl had a nasty run-in with a garage door and was knocked to the ground, yet managed to stay on the phone the whole time — making her a bit of a hero in our books. There’s that resilient Lindsay we all know and love. [ONTD]
It’s hardscrabble times for all, folks, with even an Academy Award providing no immunity from getting evicted from your home — as Marcia Gay Harden can attest. Paying $10K a month and forking over a further $20K security deposit for a slovenly Santa Monica hovel, MGH was given the boot with three days notice after the owners sold the property without telling her. How did they do the inspections? Who would buy a place without seeing it? So many questions! She’s currently hashing it out in court. [TMZ]
Justin Bieber‘s “Batmobile” was pulled over by cops after he cut them off. [TMZ]
- Cameron Diaz pulls some mummy shit (note the vowel) to avoid the non-specials creeping on her when she flies. [NYDN]
- Ryan Murphy says he’s pulling a Beverly Hills 90210 — the original! – and finding a way for Glee alumni to still haunt the halls of William McKinley High. [E!]
- Rumer Willis looks super pretty here. [Daily Mail]
- Rachel Uchitel, best known for her work as Tiger Woods‘s primary homewrecker, is pregnant to former Penn State football player Matt Hahn. Now she can play Amber in The Real Housewives Of South Boston if they decide to make more and Jessica Eason isn’t available. [Page Six]
- Robert Pattinson was so jealous of Taylor Lautner‘s rock-hard abs he dieted and worked out his sparkly little ass to the bone for the latest installment of Twilight. [Huff Po]
- You can exhale! Paula Deen is finally opening up about her food fight with Michelle Obama. [Page Six]
- Professional poker player Beth Shak is getting an elegant tattoo of her Zodiac sign – Scorpio for those that were wondering – and a Christian Louboutin sling-back on her “groin area” for Miami Ink spinoff, NY Ink. She’s just like Carrie! [Page Six]
- She’s married to one of the richest guys around – whose company keeps her in clothes and booze – so why is Salma Hayek shilling for a juice diet company? [US]
- From Parks And Recreation to Community, “penis” and “vagina” are the buzzwords for Fall. [Vulture]
- Michelle Williams faces up to her most important critic – with Marilyn Monroe reaching out from beyond the grave to give Mishy a dusty thumbs up for her performance in My Week With Marilyn. [E!]
- Katie Holmes as a slutty pumpkin, everyone. It took six seasons to cast her in this lukewarm role? [US]
- Not feeling it for your own Halloween costume? How about sexualized little girls care of Toddler & Tiaras? [US]
- It’s the day of the year she lives for and Heidi Klum‘s extending that to the week prior by showing off her get-up early. [US, Daily Mail]
- Gisele has successfully supermodeled her son, brainwashing him to believe that broccoli is a treat. [Monsters And Critics]
- Newsflash! Snooki doesn’t know who J.K. Rowling, Maya Angelou or “anyone” is. [Huff Po]
- Rita Wilson is releasing an album? Why not? [Billboard]
- Simone Battle says her Gaydar is broken – and she clearly needs to wash her eyes if the intense gay-face here is anything to go by. [OMG]
- Sean Lennon occupies Wall Street with a sweet-ass Madonna ditty. [TMZ]
- Barack Obama tells Leno he never watches reality TV. For his sake we hope he counts Hoarders and Intervention as documentaries. [US]
- Is Teri Hatcher back on the juice? [Daily Mail]
- The headline for this story really sums it up nicely: Lance Bass Is Producing A Play About Escorts, Possibly Starring Kirstie Alley As the Pimp. [Vulture]
- It’s not enough to have Best Body rankings, the wizards over at Fitness conjured up whole new ways to categorize and judge celebrities – with Hottest Comedian Body deserving a shout-out. [USA Today]
- The speaking voice of Jem (of Jem And The Holograms for you fetuses out there) has released an album! Truly outrageous! [ONTD]
- A Dumb And Dumber sequel with the original cast? Hmm, well, okay, I guess we can get behind that. [Vulture]
- Amanda Seyfried wants a baby. Any baby. Your baby! [Daily Mail]
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